Good Deed For The Day

After work this afternoon Juana's car won't start and she asks me for a push ..... to pop the clutch or whatever it is that people do to start pushed cars. So I push .... and push and push and were going nowhere quickly. Not even an inch or two. It's like I'm trying to push a house or the Titanic or something and probably looking pretty comical from a distance. She's giving me hell for not being macho enough to move her car. Then she discovers that the parking brake is still engaged. Anyway, we (me) finally get it rolling and it starts up and she speeds off. Not even a wave of thank you is offered. I'm just standing there in the wake of her exhaust fumes and dust. There had better be some biscuits and gravy waiting on my desk in the morning.

What I'm Listening To

Last night listening to Cat Stevens album, "Tea For The Tillerman" from start to finish. Start to finish ..... Something I rarely seem to do any more. Flash back to teenage years and a evening phone call from a friend telling me to be quiet and listen. He proceeded to play the record over the phone. I was hooked. One of those records where upon exposure, you would run out and buy it the next day. One of those rare records that still sounds as fresh today as it did 40 years ago. One that I always come back to. Catch me one the right day and I might just tell you that it's the greatest record of all-time.

I always hoped for a follow-up from Cat Stevens that could match it. While there was still some good music to come, I was never satisfied. This is the masterpiece!! That period from 1970-1975 produced several desert-island-disc masterpieces from different artists. Quite possibly the most fertile five years of the Singer/Songwriter genre. FM-radio playing various album cuts instead of the AM top-40 hits that had dominated until then. A great time to be listening and discovering new music. 

(Hand) Cleanliness Next To ....

I fear that I am morphing into a borderline Howard Hughes (minus the money) type of character. I've been moving towards fanatical in hand washing. I touch a door knob at work and feel a need to wash my hands. I want to see gloves on anyone who comes near any food that I am considering eating. I don't want to shake hands with anyone. I have a growing fear of touching computer keyboards that someone else has touched. Public restrooms disgust me. I suddenly refuse to use plastic forks and spoons that do not come wrapped. I understand now why some people are repulsed by the thought of going to an all-you-can-eat buffet and I'm currently trending in that direction also.

Why the sudden change after so many years of not worrying to this degree about such things? It's more a matter of having your eyes opened up than it is of aging and experiences. Of seeing someone who's oblivious about hygiene and being sickened by it.

Master Of The Crock Pot

Been working on my crock pot culinary skills and attempting to master chicken corn chowder. I can report that I'm getting closer and closer to perfection using tried and true recipes only as a guideline and with a heavy amount of experimentation. I considered for a moment the purchase of measuring utensils but quickly decided to wing it. It is quite a feeling of accomplishment when I see it all bubbling away inside the crock pot. Hopefully Mom would be proud.

Those Computer Blues

Three days ago (Friday) I was at work when the system that we use went down. I thought it was likely something minor and would be OK shortly. Was also told as much. Anyway, I woke up a couple IT guys from their afternoon naps and got them busy. When I went home two and a half hours later it was still down. I was starting to wonder if it was something I did? (Well not really because I was at lunch when it supposedly occurred.)  Today I see it being described at a "Catastrophic failure" of the system. WOW! And to think that I was the first to stumble across it.

Just when an old person starts feeling comfortable around a computer, something comes up to show you how little you really know.

The first IT guy that I contacted seemed bothered that I called. He actually asked, "Do you know who this is?" I was tempted to say something like, Yeah the IT guy at the bottom of the totem pole when it comes to issues needing attention. Because he is. His is the last name on the contact list and they always say to start at the bottom of the list. He's also the one from their group who I still had a favorable opinion of. The others all talk down to me or fail to recognize the urgency of fixing problems that crop up when it comes to what we are doing. If they are designated as the "on call" person, they act perturbed if you actually call. Anyway, this guy told me that he was on the road and couldn't help me. I wonder now how he feels after blowing me off in the middle of a catastrophic failure of the system, in progress?

And don't think that I'm not aware of how suspicious it all looks, with all this happening just a couple hours before the weekend kicked in and a scheduled Monday vacation day.

Not In Stock

Electronics shopping and I'm ready to buy after just a minimum amount of fretting about details and user reviews ..... record time for me, but only to discover that they don't have any in stock. By the time they get more in, which even if it would be five minutes later, I may change my mind. They asked if they could reserve one for me? Hell no!! There's too much time in between for me to decide otherwise. You should have been stocked or risk losing the sale. I was in an impulse buying kind of mode, though it wasn't an impulse item. Something I've been considering for awhile now. Better audio for the television with a minimum of wires and connections. Something that my technology lacking mind, could embrace.

Best Buy ..... About three dozen employees running around, which was about two dozen more than the number of customers in the store, and no one has the time to stop and help you. Yet when you just want to browse and be left alone, there's someone around every corner and in every aisle, approaching from behind every thirty seconds, startling you and asking if you need assistance. And no one can ever answer a question. They always have to go refer with their computer or go find someone else to help you. Why do they have so many people running around, asking if you need help, then upon being asked a simple and generic question, have to go find someone else to answer it? Then often, the summoned specialist can't answer without confusing you more than you initially were.

Mattress shopping too! The lady told me that in order to truly get an idea about a specific mattress that I needed to lay down on it for 5-10 minutes. The way my body works, I'd fall asleep after three minutes and have to be awakened when they wanted to lock up for the evening.

Catching Up With an Old Friend

Caught up with an old friend today. It had been over twenty years if both our memories are accurate. Sure doesn't seem that long though. Me being me, I was more than a little nervous beforehand but soon felt at ease in the conversation. It's amazing the paths that peoples lives take as they go farther along from youth into their 20's and 30's and beyond. How lives change and evolve from what you previously knew. How new interests are discovered and pursued over the years.

And believe it or not, it was my first sit down experience in a Starbucks. The holdout has ended. I felt like part of the world community for a few hours.

Dreaming

I have these dreams from time to time, where I've met a woman, someone that I'm totally mesmerized by. It's always someone who as far as I can recall upon awakening, is not a person that I've ever known in my real life world. And the dreams are different from other dreams in that they seem to last for hours instead of the normal minute or two and also that upon awakening, I feel regret that they were not real. I don't know where the woman in each comes from. It's not like I'm trying to conjure her up. I'm not aware that the woman even has a name. I've had maybe three or four such dreams in the past year and it's been a different face in each but the qualities have been the same ..... Kindness, gentleness, grace, beauty, compassion, humility. If I were a little younger and a little less jaded, I just might have hopes that the woman is somewhere in my future.

I had one of these dreams last night. The feelings were still with me after a day at work and now remain hours later. There's a yearning to find her. The dream is not enough. I wonder if it's a message to remain hopeful? Over the past year, I've lost whatever hope I had been holding onto. It's funny and I'm not quite sure how to explain it, but even though it's just a dream, the dream experience of being in love is real. There's a genuine feeling of longing that exists regardless of how it came about.

The Secrets Of Life

There ought to be a manual or handbook or cheat sheet. Or the wisdom of the elders in the spoken word tradition. Something passed down over multiple generations from caring parents to their children. Tips for little helpful secrets for dealing with life's common but embarrassing to speak of situations. A person shouldn't have to be in their final days prior to turning 58 years old before accidentally and blindly stumbling across certain things. There are some topics just not covered in the college class, Health 101 textbook. And no, I'm not making vague reference to the birds and the bees. I figured that one out on my own a few years back.

I thought that I was in a Bob Dylan song .... Stuck Inside of Sears With The Memphis Blues Again. Well to be accurate, I guess that was Mobile that Dylan was stuck inside of. What kind of a piss-ant town is this where the mall closes at 8:00pm? Isn't there some sort of law that malls stay open to 9:00 on week nights? Out mattress shopping this evening and after thirty indecisive and confusing minutes of feeling up various mattresses, I go to exit the store and run face first into a gate prohibiting entry into the mall and the most direct route, as the bird flies and as I walk, to my car. I suddenly had visions of giving those mattresses a full night test run. I mean, if I'm locked out of the mall, then I must be locked inside of Sears right? My mind was coming up blank on alternate paths to my car. Then a store employee, noticing the waves of panic washing over my expression, pointed out the "long way"  ...... Hell I'd rather just sleep where I was at. Good thing that I also had fish tacos on my mind or else I just may have curled up on those mattresses.

Hoops Daze

Television basketball commentators yesterday going on about how the Oregon State coach wisely uses his entire bench in the first half of their game, then a look at the statistics after it's over reveals two of those players with one minute of playing time and a third with two minutes. That's not using your bench. Why even bother to put them in the game if that's all the opportunity that you're going to give them?

Reminds me of when I was a teenager and playing in some church league game and the coach pulled me from the game after a few minutes and as I walked by him on my way to the bench he said to me, "Looks like your shot is not falling (going in) tonight." ..... I had taken one shot!!

I can't stand watching OSU games and the coaching these days. Why they continue to let a 6' 11" turnover machine waste time as he dribbles the ball aimlessly around the top of the key until he makes some dumb decision, is completely beyond me. Even when he is without the ball, he just aimlessly floats around the perimeter. Unless you are the second coming of Magic Johnson, the big guys are not supposed to be the primary ball handlers. Tell him to get his ass down near the basket on EVERY possession, and stay there!! Tell the other players not to pass him the ball unless he is within five feet of the hoop. They seem to be totally unaware of this. And if this is the strategy they should have been fired last week for incompetency.

New Music

Ok I'm a new fan of the band, Typhoon!! Thought they were just for the younger crowd but after watching several videos on YouTube, I've been won over! And they're local too!! Portland based with two or three band members from Salem according to Patrick working at the record store who thought that I (the old dude) was making a cool purchase. A ten-member group, mixing horns and violins with guitars and harmonizing voices, unique pop/rock tunes with a splash of Classical influences in strategic spots.

Listening To Voices

You want to listen to a persons story. One moment it seems like they want to tell it, they next it's as if they'd rather keep it to them-self. You want to signal interest and a willingness to listen but you don't want to intrude. It can be a very fine line. I want the connection but don't want to go where I'm not welcome. This person is much more complex then most of those that you spend your days around. If there's signals, they are much more sublime and difficult to interpret. The answers are not likely to be found in the, Developing Friendships for Dummies handbook. How does anyone ever know what to do in life? A question that I've asked many times before.

A music recommendation ..... This Side of Jordan by the group, Mandolin Orange. Americana. A mostly acoustic sound. Guitars and vocals with a fiddle weaving throughout. A little mandolin too!!

Lotto Madness

Stopped at 7-11 while on my way to work yesterday morning and there was a guy in there who apparently worked for the state lottery department, handing out free scratch-it lotto tickets to "anyone who was lucky enough to be there while he was." So I'm driving to work (I didn't want to appear to be too money loving and eager and scratch them right there in the store), ..... driving to work a few minutes later thinking, "This is it! This is good karma coming back around to me" (Because I've really been trying to be a good person of late.) and as soon as I get to work and scratch these tickets, I'm going to become an instant billionaire, or at least a sudden multi-millionaire (I was certain that this was my reward). ..... But no such luck or karma was present!! I guess my mistake was in getting all cocky that this was my time. I should have remained humble and unassuming. Oh well, maybe next time.

Playlist

Torrid Tuesday evening playlist. Sometimes you start listening to randomly selected songs and you never quite know where one will lead you to next .....

• Ellis Paul - The Speed of Trees
• Pat Metheny - First Circle
• Ellis Paul - The World Ain't Slowing Down
• John Gorka - Edgar the Party Man
• Mark Knopfler & James Taylor - Sailing to Philadelphia
• Paul Westerberg - Crackle and Drag
• Pearl Jam - Footsteps
• Greensky Bluegrass - Old Barns
• Great Lake Swimmers - The Great Exhale
• The Boxer Rebellion - If You Run
• Steve Noonan - Buy For Me the Rain
• Loudon Wainwright III & Lucy Wainwright Roche - You Can't Fail Me Now 

Temptation and Memories

Walked by my local record store yesterday and didn't venture inside. Do you have any idea how difficult that is for me? Awkward as well as my body was trying to go in two directions at once. I'm attempting to reduce the amount of visits that I make. Not that it's a New Years resolution or anything and I certainly have doubts that I can keep it up. Sometimes I feel like I'm just buying out of habit. Like if I walk in, I can't walk away without making a purchase. And if I do walk out empty handed, I feel like I'm letting the owner down. I fear that I end up buying things that I may never get around to listening too. Not that I'm giving it all up but instead I need to get back to stopping by when I have something definite in mind that I'm excited about.

It felt especially strange parking across the street from where Rising Sun Records used to be located. There was a genuine feeling of deja vu in the air. You'd need much more than all my fingers and toes to calculate how many times I was in that place in my youth. I know it sounds silly but I still feel the loss of all the record stores from much younger days.

You know that you're getting old when you can't remember the name of a band who you have several recordings of. Happened to me earlier. I had the band leaders name but that was all. Looked it up at the time and now I can't remember once again. Willy Vlautin ..... Portland band ...... Oh yeah, Richmond Fontaine. Had to Google Willy's name once again though for a reminder.

Is Perry Mason Available?

It seems that I'm going to be appearing in court quite a bit in the near future and racking up some frequent flyer miles in doing so. "Court notice" in my email spam folder each of the last three days informing of my scheduled appearances in Houston, St. Louis and San Francisco. No matter to the spammers that I have no idea what the bogus case might be about. Just click on the link for details. (And also get a free bonus virus.) Do these spammers actually get people to click on their links? I wonder where tomorrows notice will have me appearing? The spammers are beginning to follow the Richard Simmons business model  ..... Unwrap a new theme in their approach every few months. Come up with some new cutesy buzz words or phrase combined with repackaging the same old shit and send it out hoping to hook a few gullible suckers. It's just difficult to believe that anyone falls for this stuff these days.

Get To Work!!

The holidays now being a thing of the past, it feels good to get back into the normal work routine. All the vacation time used, jury duty and holidays during December and resulting days off, (as much as I love days off), makes it difficult to return when they are over. It's just easier to get out of bed and go to work each day when it's part of a normal routine instead of the constant disruptions. Sounds strange to say but it seems to be the truth. Not that I'm considering giving up the vacation time that I have coming. It's just that that first day back after a week or two away is getting increasingly difficult as I get increasingly older. The body is not liking it much. At least the spirit doesn't seem to mind.

Saw on a local weather website yesterday morning that it was 42 degrees but that it "felt like" 43 degrees. Why the hell even bother to post that? Can someone wander outside and actually tell the difference between 42 and 43?

Taking Notes (Continued)

Twenty or thirty year old memories are a funny thing. Totally unreliable it appears. Years erode details that you once had no doubt of. Take for example that I would have been prepared to swear on a mountain of bibles that the Crosby, Stills & Nash song, Southern Cross was included on their 1977, CSN reunion album. When in fact the song came out in the early 1980's. That's just not how I remember my history though. Then there's the JFK assassination. The topic of, where were you, came up recently. 1963 .... I was in grade school at the time. Myself and three or four classmates all remember it differently despite the fact that we were all likely in the same place when we were informed. Second graders were not given much freedom in those days to wander all around the school grounds. It was strictly regimented and we did everything together as a group. So why the differing accounts? Yet I am as positive of my version as the others are of theirs.

Today at the store, a guy stopped me and asked if I was from this area and where the closest liquor store was. I gave some vague directions but have wondered since if I possibly contributed to a drunk driver on the road on New Years Eve. Hopefully my directions where vague enough and confusing enough that he went off in the wrong direction.

A new year ....... People always act as if the year ending has been the worst in decades, full of plague, disease and plain old bad luck and that a new year is a new beginning and the transition point for bigger and greater things. Why? If you are in need of positive life changes and refocusing on what matters, why not make the required changes on and celebrate November 13th or June 25th .... or any other given day? A week or a couple months earlier would be better than waiting until January 1st. It's why I refuse to get involved in all the new years hoopla and well wishing. Why not do it EVERY day? Why is going from December 31st to January 1st a reason for renewed optimism and grand hopes for the future? The weather didn't suddenly go from freezing to balmy with putting up a new calender. As far as I'm concerned all it means is that I have a replenished amount of vacation time from work, plus the one day that I'm carrying over from 2013. That's a reason for renewed optimism. If it's anything like last year though, I'll have a hell of a time deciding when to use it. That's my resolution then .... to be decisive about taking a day or week off and not worry that I've left them in a bind. I guess all this makes me a glass half empty type personality. And you know, I'm perfectly OK with that.