New Reader

Talking with a good friend who has been reading my words here for the first time and getting a chuckle from a few of my bizarre meanderings and thoughts.

Did I mention that at one time in much younger days I was married to this good friend?

And now that she has the link, I live in fear .... (hopefully she knows I say that in jest) ..... in fear that the deeper she reads, the better the odds that eventually she'll come across a sentence or a hundred that are quite possibly referencing memories that come from days with her. 

I mean the statistics page says I have 1140 posts in this journal, I probably mentioned her once or twice.

So, I hope that however the words might be framed, that she understands and either smiles or laughs.

There were many years when I thought I'd never hear from her again.

It's been a sincere pleasure getting reacquainted through frequent chats. 

And I never thought that when I started this little journal, that anyone would ever indicate an interest in reading even a paragraph.

End of the day comings and goings. Cormorants in the trees at sunset. And I stand there attempting to capture an image that I'm satisfied with. I don't know if they have a pecking order or ranking among them or if there's a meaning behind who occupies the highest branch. I love though, observing their frequent arrivals and departures and the silhouettes cast against the end-of-day sky. A place I return to often.

Senior Moment

"Does this happen to apply to you?" .... She asked while pointing to the 10% senior discount notice.

"I'm seventy" .... I replied proudly, feeling like it was an accomplishment to have made it to this point. 

Book Daze

I'm not a big novel and fiction guy being much more into poetry, essays, history and memoirs but lately I've discovered a fascination with dystopia. I do have some catching up to do. 

It started years ago with this book. I've read the book twice and the final few pages at least a dozen times and ruminating on it since.

'Nature's End' by Whitley Strieber and James Kunetka. About a not-so-perfect solution to future world overpopulation.

Actually, I think my interest was sparked years before that with a mid-1980's late-night (the perfect hours for such things) viewing of the 1969 movie, 'The Monitors.' I love the blend of satire and the movie's view of a possible societal future of being 'watched.' 

A few days ago, I picked up a copy of 'Brave New World' and am about to dive in. 

I should have read this book long ago. Maybe there should be a high school or college, dystopian fiction 101 course? I'd consider going back to school for that.

From what I've seen, I may have to collect various copies for the cover art with different printings.

Geek Moment

I absolutely love the moment when after receiving a vinyl record mailer in the snail mail, and this is especially so for non-Amazon packages as it feels more unique and special coming from small record stores and independent record labels, and where you peel off the cardboard strip to open the mailer and that instant when you pull out two or more vinyl records of some relatively obscure or sadly unknown but overflowingly cool band or musician and where you think that you are the only person within 500 miles, or at least shouting distance of your zip code that has these freaking great records. If you want to see me at my nerdiest, that would be the moment. And if there's a complimentary postcard or sticker enclosed, it just multiplies the geek factor in me. 

So this arrived today .....

East coast band on clear splatter vinyl.  I saw it labeled elsewhere as 'psychedelic rock.' .... maybe bringing a few 1960's vibes. The hype sticker says: "New Haven's Mountain Movers conjure 5 new instrumental jams" .... 

For some reason lately, music from bands based 3000 miles away feels more collection enhancing to me.

And there was also this ....

Antony Milton - 'Curtains 2'

The hype sticker states: "Another amazing project from the ever-prolific New Zealand master of free-noise."

It's pretty far out and groovy as well. Looking forward to my next-door neighbors next kayaking adventure so I can really turn the volume up. Might have to invest in the new headphones I was looking at yesterday. 😀

Then as if not enough but as if a drastic change in genre was needed, an evening trip to the used bookstore .... (I'm pretty sure they are tired of seeing me walk through their doors) .... where I found this Doc Watson recording. I'd seen it before but upon returning to purchase, thought someone beat me to it, but there it was again tonight. Legendary and classic folk, country, bluegrass sounds from 1966.

So I think this all qualifies as a pretty good day in vinyl record collecting. I truly get excited about this stuff. Have been for nearly sixty years but the last year or two have elevated my obsession to higher places. And there's always something new to discover and get worked up over. I am a proud vinyl nerd always searching for leads to upgrade my collection. Always looking forward to the next dig be it in a local physical shop or in the online world

And my greatest desire is to play a few favorite records for you.

A Thought

Not to sound morbid or anything and hoping that I'm not repeating myself but every time I'm out navigating the streets, alleys and sidewalks and an ambulance roars by with siren sounding, I can't avoid thinking that one of these days in the not-too-distant future, it may be coming for me.

That's the main difference I've discovered between all the other decade markers and this age 70 point. Went from never thinking such things to being unable to avoid these thoughts running through my head.

Brief Encounter

As I was headed towards the exit, one of the new guys at work .... so new that I don't know his name .... approached and asked:

"Are you a shop steward?" ...... "No."

"Are you a veteran?" ...... "No."

"How long have you been working here?" .... "You don't want to know."

"Twenty years, thirty years?" ..... "Ummm fifty-one years."

Well, he seemed to think that was so cool, congratulating me and showing respect.

I walked away feeling a little better about the day. 

.... and thinking that I should get-to-know that guy's name.

The Smile

A trip to the antique mall for a follow-up from yesterday's vinyl records dig and huge eight-record haul. Afterwards I briefly walked through the art gallery next door where a beautiful lady looked at me as I passed by and with a huge smile, she said hello. Yes!! To me!! Really!! No stretching of the truth or anything.

A few resulting thoughts ....

•  I wish I knew how to respond on the rare occasions where that happens. Like, how do I reply to hello combined with a smile? 😀 It's not like I've ever known. 
• And how was I supposed to impress her anyway being a little more than halfway to seventy-one years old and feeling all dirty and sweaty after coming directly from an active day at work. Not to mention the sweaty nature of vinyl record bin digging and unearthing a couple gems.
• Because I concluded that maybe she too is a vinyl geek and was actually smiling at the sight of the unbagged jazz vinyl finds in my arms .... which that would be perfectly fine with me if I was liked for my vinyl choices over my rough physical appearance.
• And because of this brief encounter and feeling good about myself for a few moments, once home I gave myself a spritz or two of Ralph Lauren Polo cologne.

Yankee Fever

Watching the Yankees wildcard game tonight and between innings I've swept the deck three times or read a paragraph or two from one of several current reads, a book titled, 'Vinyl Countdown' .... about record collecting if you couldn't guess. 

If only they could televise these games and the time between innings as if you were at the ballpark .... show the pitcher's warm up tosses. Or maybe the outfielders long tossing (if they still do that).    show the umpires chatting or just show the spectators. I have no patience for the televised commercials. 

I come into this playoff series lacking in confidence in my Yankees. If the game is close, I fear something bad will happen in the end. Or something bad will happen early and the game will snowball out of control. That's just my nature. And I've been through too many playoff seasons where I was overflowing in confidence and in the end turned off my television disappointed. So maybe the opposite attitude will work. It did for George Constanza.

A few hours later .....

It worked. The lack of confidence that is. Or the fear of bad things lurking ahead. It worked for tonight. Yankees win 9-0.

Now to begin worrying about game 2. 

The Waiting

I always enjoy the excitement of an evening before a scheduled delivery from the online record store where a few days ago I ordered two or three titles and now can't remember what they are, but you know that you listened to a few song samples and all were original, different, intriguing and exciting from largely unknown or forgotten musicians in funk, jazz or avant-garde jazz history and you know that your collections coolness factor is about to increase or multiply.

And I'm thinking that maybe I should leave work early and invite people over for the grand unboxing event that will unfold .... but who do I know that would care?

Right now, I don't want to know what's about to be delivered. It will be more of a thrill to open the package tomorrow and find out. 

And that is part of the enjoyment of being an aging geek, wannabe hipster record collector in 2026.

In the used bookstore this evening just before the first autumn rain began falling. I picked up a classical title. I'll take one home three or four times a year. One great thing is that they are relatively inexpensive compared to most pre-owned rock, blues and jazz on vinyl. 

I stay away from the century's old historical composer names. I look for recordings featuring cello or violin and more contemporary composers. I know nothing about this recording other than my attention was drawn to the cover photo. I don't know if I have an original copy or a reissue, but it was originally released in 1961. At this rate, by the time I'm one hundred years old, I'll have a modest vinyl collection of classical recordings to show off. 

It appears to be in near mint condition ..... though there is a handwritten note in blue ink on the back cover under the side two listing, advising ..... "Listen to this side only." Which is a sure-fire strategy to get me to listen to the other side.

More Notes From the Edge of the Universe

Midweek notes as the official start of autumn draws close .....

• My latest thing .... Late evening, changing into pajama bottoms, t-shirt, button-down sweater and one size too big slippers, sitting quietly in a dimly lit room, listening to the classical music station on a small box shaped, single speaker clock-radio in celebration of making it through one more day. And I find this mode (or mood), for this specific moment, preferable to big stereo sound
• Alternate thing ..... Watching an episode of, 'Curb Your Enthusiasm.'
• What I've been patiently (attempting) waiting for .... autumn is finally here!! No more dreading of potential 105 degree days for a while.
• Wow! Lose twenty-five pounds and gain a wardrobe. Several shirts that have been hanging in my closet, worn just once or twice in the last three or four years because they felt uncomfortable, suddenly feel comfortable again.

Yankees Fever

Anyone who had ever spent much time around me knows that I am nearly a lifelong New York Yankee fan.

The beginnings can be traced back in my memory to the 1964 World Series making it 88.57% of my years of faithfully following the Yankees.

And my all-time hierarchy of beloved Yankee greats goes .....

1. Bobby Murcer .... I cried in protest when they traded him to the Giants and celebrated when they brought him back.
2. Mickey Mantle ..... I was too young to remember much. Or his greatest moments.
3. Don Mattingly ..... I once injured my wrist in my slo-pitch softball days attempting to imitate this wrist-bat quick movement thing I'd seen him do on television while in the on-deck circle.
4. Bernie Williams, Thurman Munson or Ron Guidry
5. Nearly everyone else who has worn the Yankee pinstripes for a single game, five years or a career.

The other day while sifting through baseball cards in an antique shop in Silverton ..... (I told the lady at the cash register the cards were "for my nephew" though I suspect that all my nephews either: a) don't care about the damn Yankees or b) too young to know about the freaking Yankees) ..... anyway, I came across a Yankee figurine with a number "23" and "Mattingly" on the back of the jersey.

Though I think it bears a closer resemblance to Wade Boggs.

So maybe it's Wade Boggs wearing a Don Mattingly jersey

Notice the lack of pinstripes? Don Mattingly certainly earned his pinstripes. Wade Boggs was a Yankee for only a year or two and just maybe the creator of the figurine was holding his red sox past against him though he was on the Yankees 1996 world series champs, so I think he deserves to be granted pinstripes as well. 

And I also found ten cards to add to my Yankee cards sheet binders ..... Ummm I mean, give to my nephews.

Time

As you get deeper into your older years it feels like you hear daily of another cousin or teenage classmate who has passed away .... people who you grew up with. And you still very much remember the times when they were young and alive and vital and taking part in all the rituals of youth, and this steady succession or progression of passing wasn't even considered as an eventual outcome or possibility. 

And you realize it happens to everyone but you're still in this semi-state of shock and continuously asking yourself: 'How is this possible and how did we even get to this point?' Shouldn't it feel like it took a while longer to get here? Shouldn't the time have passed by a little slower?

And you wonder who will be next and who will survive to be last. 

And the flashbacks remain.

When you're young it seems as if you'll be young forever. And you looked at older people and couldn't imagine that they were ever young, and those senior years will never happen to you. But before you know it you find out how wrong you are/were. And it's funny how time almost seemed to stand still back then when you were in the middle of it all but now it feels like it flashed by.

And it's frustrating and confusing and unfair .... and there is no preparation for this point in reality and maybe you'll just wake up to find that it was all a bad dream...... But that never happens.

And I believe that older people who say they never think about these things are undoubtedly lying.

And maybe it's changing the topic a bit but while I freely use the word, 'older' I refuse to use the word, old.' ..... well except in a self-effacing joking type of manner while hoping it causes another person to chuckle or laugh.

Sunday Find

Sometimes you're just looking around in the used bookstore and thinking that it's all the same books on the shelves that you've seen before and suddenly you spot something in the corner of the shelf that's different and that stands out and that wasn't there before and not to sound corny, but it's like the book is reaching out to you, attempting to get your attention. And it seems to happen now and then with both books and vinyl records ....

I opened it up to a random page like I always do ..... maybe page sixty-three ..... and read a single sentence located about halfway down the page. I knew immediately that I needed to take it home. That it was a personalized find!! Once home, I jumped right in and was hooked after reading the sleeve note and the introduction. And it looks like it's going to be a great read. 

And it's a hardcover copy!!

Wendell Berry

I read this evening of one of my favorite poets, Wendell Berry, passing away on the last day of August. I don't know what to express. I've been reading his words for the last thirty (maybe forty) years and they have always touched me in ways that few know. He spoke to me and caused me to take another look around at the world, the environment and mostly myself.

Maybe in time, I can form a few intelligent thoughts.

Risky Days

You assume that some things are safe but you'd be wrong. I've reached a point in life where nothing is free of risk .... I pulled a muscle in my back this morning while applying underarm deodorant.

Dorks, Nerds and Geeks

Caught in the middle today, (physical positioning-wise), between two guys engaging in nerd-speak, talking about their respective advanced gaming systems and me having no clue what they were saying. Thought about jumping in with some integrated amplifier-stereo speakers-turntable-vinyl record chat. Or possibly some baseball statistics and my theories on various ball and strike counts and hitting.

Made a vegetable soup tonight in the crock pot with low sodium chicken broth, tomatoes, carrots, celery, cut corn, bell pepper, spinach, dried onion flakes plus spices like pepper, thyme, parsley, old bay seasoning, a couple squirts of olive oil .... Oh and bits of chicken tossed in. No added salt. Even the positioning of the crock pot on the kitchen window counter seemed important. Turned out really yummy and warming. And the scratchy throat that I had suddenly seems to have been cured. Alexa tells me that it's also diabetic friendly which is what I was going for and suggests trying it with cod. I've arrived at the conclusion that I should have been a freaking chef.

Surprise!!

Two or three weeks ago, I came across a couple vinyl records in the used bookstore that drew interest. I took photos of the album covers and went home to check them out. Enjoying what I heard, I returned the following day to purchase but they were gone. I searched through the racks and nothing. On subsequent visits I checked again and again with no luck. Then this evening, there they were!! I don't know where they went during that time before re-discovery ..... maybe someone temporarily placed them among the Bach, Dvorak and Beethoven records ....  places I rarely go.

Michael Howell - Looking Glass. Jazz guitarist. Recorded and released in 1973. Jazz fusion. A new name in my collection. And it's a promotional copy which always seems to be a good thing in the vinyl collecting world.

Daniel Humair, Gordon Beck & Ron Mathewson - Morning! Recorded in 1972 in Italy. A French pressing and a re-issue. Jazz trio .... drums, piano and bass. Free jazz was mentioned when I was searching for basic information. More new names in my collection. 

A Few Notes and Stuff

• Twenty years ago is often framed and spoken about as a great amount of years ago, but when you're seventy years old and wondering if you'll see seventy-five or even seventy-one, looking back at your life twenty years ago it feels like yesterday.

I woke from a dream where I was back in my years working for the city, in the office at some odd hour of the night, like I often was, clad in shorts and nothing else, thinking I was alone but suddenly joined by a new front desk receptionist who was telling me that my job might not exist much longer ...... hell we were often operating with that thought in the back of our mind with pending city budget cut rumors ..... and my boss for the last few of my years there suddenly appeared in the dream, telling me about an idea she had for my job duties, when I interrupted by mentioning that I hadn't yet committed to the role ..... which is kinda in reality how my time there ended ...... and I really wasn't too excited about what I was hearing and she told me that she knew I was uncommitted and thinking about walking away. And that's where I woke up. 

Nothing too exciting for a dream but it has me thinking about those times and the passing of time. 

• Two days of off and on rain and much cooler temperatures has early September feeling like late November. Day one of the rain was a pleasure, day two was, ok that's enough. 
• Not to sound morbid but found myself in a room full of people, all younger than myself, and then a few minutes later walking away thinking that one day all those people will still be here but I won't.
• I've become a bit less fearful of that time but still not accepting or embracing it. Sometimes though it seems like the better alternative to more doctor appointments.
• Hoping all the rain of the last two days reached the wildfires in other parts of the state.

The Yaaaaankees Win

Fell asleep tonight on the couch during the second inning of the Yankees game .... Awoke just after the game concluded and in time to hear Michael Kay signing off. I can only assume that God didn't want me to see a stirring extra inning Yankees win where they strung together multiple hard-hit singles and exciting baserunning for five runs .... a seemingly rarity in Yankee viewing because ....

• a) They usually lose in extra innings on the road and ....
• b) They usually hit a home run or two and trot around the bases when they do occasionally win and ....
• c) I apparently don't deserve to witness Yankee success.

More Notes From My Corner of the World

 Saturday notes from the weirder regions of my mind and daily experiences ....

• I share office space with someone who has a "positive cat" bobblehead on her desk. And I have extreme issues with excessive positivity, (especially from cats), so when she's away from her desk, and out of the corner of my eye I can't help but notice that thing is uncontrollably bobbing away, I've been rumored (allegedly) to use my index finger to obstruct and put a temporary stop to all positive bobblehead movement.
• I approach the treadmill with the thought: "Oh man, I really don't want to do this." But then once I get started, I don't want to stop. I'm like: "Keep going. Just ten more seconds ..... Just another tenth of a mile."
• It doesn't take much to get me thinking for five minutes that I'm a cool and hip dude. In this case all it took was replacing the battery in my bathroom scale and I'm suddenly feeling like the man who has everything.
• Walking around the out-of-town art fair and I come across these small clay sculptures. Here's two of the three that went home with me. Maybe I'll position them for a day directly across from the positive cat .....
  

Random Musings

 Notes and assorted random stuff ....

• I've been navigating the summer temps in long sleeve shirts because I'm embarrassed to show off my pale arms.
• Finding out each day that turning 70 years old is proving difficult to accept.
• A case of you snooze you lose. Saw an Archie Shepp record in the bins, went home to check it out, returned a day later having decided to purchase ...  and it was gone!!
• Is it weird to think that 3am is the best hour of the day? 
• I have a definite feeling that all these used vinyl records I've been discovering and buying at the bookstore came from the same collection .... and I want to meet the collector.
• Worked up a mighty sweat this evening doing 1.38 miles on the community treadmill. Feeling real progress being achieved the past few days. Even if my heart stops beating five minutes from now. T-shirt was like a throwback to a summer evening of basketball in a muggy 97-degree gym.

New Car

It's just strange seeing a new car in your driveway. Not sure how long it will take to feel like it's mine and that I'm not driving a rental or a stolen car. It's different from what I've driven before. More 'luxury' (if that's the proper word), than what I am accustomed to. And I can't help but wonder if I deserve a small slice of luxury? And there's a bit of a sense of loss present that comes with the absence of my old car. I mean, I was intending that day to drive it home to think about the potential purchase ..... and fifteen minutes later was transferring all my stuff to the new car. Maybe I should have kept it, but what reason would I ever have to drive it again? 

The Process

Went through one of the things I dread most in life .... the new car buying process. 

I decided a year ago that I was going to do this and a few months ago on what car I wanted.

Yet it took all that time to get to this point today where the process is completed and I'm thankful for the salesman being a little pushy and getting me through this process because had it been all left to me, I'd likely still be procrastinating for a few more days, weeks, months .... or even a year. 

And I didn't even mind the blowing smoke up my ass moment where the lady doing the paperwork told me that: "You'll be picking up girls all over town now with this car."

And not to sound morbid, I mean I am at an advanced age, but with a little luck this will be the last time I go through this process. Of course, I told myself the same thing after the previous adventure in new car buying. 

I seem to have established a pattern .... nine or ten years with a car and ready for change. Hopefully by the time I'm eighty though, we'll all be 'beaming up' to our destinations.  

This Weekend

Hoping that recent history repeats itself ..... Introduced online to a vinyl record that I now want in my collection. Hoping now to walk into the record store or antique shop and have it be the third album in the first bin that I flip through. 

This is the record. If any locals see it out there somewhere, please let me know. 😄 It's the kind of thing that I'd rather find 'in the wild' than just purchase online and wait for it to arrive. The level of excitement is different.

Driving down the road yesterday listening to NBA sports chatter on the radio when suddenly it's interrupted by one of those public service announcements for an extreme weather situation ..... a 'tornado warning.' Not exactly a common occurrence around here. Turned out that it was for twenty-five miles north but if the conditions were ripe that nearby, then there must be potential in the air here. At the very least it gets you to pay closer attention to the clouds and sky.

Make Music Salem

"Make Music Salem' took place today. I look forward to this event each year. I walked around downtown for a couple hours taking in the music and atmosphere. Would have liked to have made even more of a day of it but eventually I was done in by the first-day-of-summer warmth. I took home a haul of buttons and stickers .... because in the last five years I've become an absolute nerd for those kinds of things. Oh, and a free official event kazoo too .... a musical instrument that even I can manage.

I'm such a geek, even more so at age seventy .... and despite my introvert nature, didn't need to be encouraged twice to take one of each. There were two or three others not included here. 

I didn't know the guy featured in a couple of these stickers but from what I've read about him, seems like I would have greatly appreciated his community spirit and involvement. He was highly instrumental in getting this worldwide event off the ground locally a decade ago. Thank you, Mark.

Summer Solstice Weekend Notes

• I've reached a point in life where seemingly any sort of scheduled human interaction involving being in a certain place at an appointed time causes anxiety. This apparently includes the delivery of a new refrigerator. I'd almost rather continue life with the old noisy one than have to open the door and face people.
• Still torn .... Half the time I heartily embrace and am proud to admit to being 70 years old. And half the time I struggle with accepting it. Truth be told, maybe it's more like a 30/70 attitude split. 
• Too many adjustments happening right now. I dove in too deep this season. With the NBA playoffs just concluded, I wasn't prepared this time around for life without live basketball on television. I keep defaulting to: "I'll just turn on a game."

Yankee Odds and Blues

The Yankees leading 1-0 in the 6th inning and the starting pitcher with a pitch count of 92 so he won't be in much longer. The live game tracker on yahoo gives them a 77.6% chance of winning (In the time I typed that sentence, they gave up a run and now have a 57% chance of winning.

Where I was initially going though with the 77.6 number was that apparently, they don't factor in late inning bullpen performance with one run leads and three innings remaining to get through because if they did it would seemingly be something like a 8.3% chance of holding the lead and eventually winning. So I am overly confident that my Yankees will lose today.

Fear Factor

• There's nothing quite like the sense of sudden fear (if that's what it is) that washes over you when you walk out to the downtown spot where you think that you parked your car, and it's not there .....and then the relief felt when you look to the right and there it is. And on a day where I forgot to take my blood pressure meds until 11:00pm, I didn't need that sort of surprise.
• Received a promotion at work and I kind of want to tell the world and friends on facebook ..... but don't do so in order to avoid the usual 'maybe it's time to retire' comments that come out anytime I mention the w-word.  

Record For a Record

Saw something today that I've never seen before. In all my years of digging through bins and flipping through stacks of records, I've never come across a used (or new) record with a $360 price tag on it ..... and it wasn't a box set, .... it was a single record. Not behind the counter or displayed on the wall. It was right there in the common bins with the $8 and $10 records. (I bet they felt slighted.) Even with my senior discount applied, which I'm pretty sure I would have remembered to ask for, $324 would be far greater than the previous most expensive vinyl platter that I've ever come across. 

My heart damn near stopped beating for a few seconds today.

I was like: "Ooooh Ooooh!! .... until I saw the numbers to the right of the dollar sign.

And this was a used bookstore not an official record store. Since they started selling records a year or two ago, I haven't seen this sort of thing. But I think their vinyl buyer has discovered Discogs in the past month and is cross-referencing all the dead wax etchings. 

I'd go blind after reading five or ten of those. 

And now hours removed from the scene, I'm not even sure who the musician was. (It may have been Pharoah Sanders. It may have been Sonny Rollins.) They had several offerings from giant names in jazz on one of the elite jazz labels, 'Prestige', that hadn't been occupying space there previously. 

They had a $100 John Fahey record that I actually considered before walking away. 

I'm sure that todays $360 price sticker would be nothing in the eyes of some of the certified and verified freaks in the vinyl community, but it was a shocker to me. 

Hell, I'm embarrassed to admit that I spent $36 on a record today. 

And what if I did fall for it, made the purchase, got home and discovered that I already had it on cd?

The last time I experienced this level of shock was when I found 'Trace' by Son Volt for a quick glance $9.60 and took it to the checkout counter and heard, "That will be ninety-six dollars please." 

I used to think that my days on earth would likely end when I absent mindedly walked out into the street one day while looking east and got hit by a bus coming from the west, but now I think that sudden vinyl record price sticker shock is a heavy contender.

Talking Hoops

Talking to a co-worker / old city league basketball teammate ...... from the days when I was the old guy on the team and he was the youngish kid. 

Now I'm just 'the old guy' ....

And he's currently playing on an employer sponsored team where he's now assuming the role of the old guy on the team. And he's disgusted with all his younger teammates who just want to run to the three-point line and chuck up threes ....

And he's still of an old school mindset towards the game .....

And he's not too thrilled either by the leagues not keeping track of personal fouls on individuals. So a person can accumulate six or ten .... or twenty and the games can get a little overly rough on a fifty-five year old body .... 

(And we chuckle about this guy we used to play with who came from a football background and would tend to be in foul trouble two minutes into a game and how he'd have pounded away on people if they hadn't kept track of personal fouls in the old days and he had this no fouls tallied limit.)

And he tells me that I should be out there playing on their current team and I'm like: "Yeah right. A seventy year old man, toeing up to the three point line, trying to keep up with the way the game is played now."

And I can tell that he misses the days where as the 6'4" guy he'd post up three feet away from the basket and me with my wanna-be point guard mindset, would feed him the ball and he'd score at will over helpless shorter guys ....

But the game is not played that way anymore!!

And I always think about the time when we were teammates and he was absent on a random game night and my other friend, Steve B told me to get my ass down there and post up in that suddenly available three feet away from the basket spot and he fed me the ball and I was scoring at will over the helpless shorter guys to the total of 26 points just because with the one guy not present, there were a lot of shots in need of someone else taking.

Sunday Notes

Sunday notes of optimism, despair and wonder .....

• I'm thinking that my biological clock ..... my circadian rhythm is off. On workdays my alarm clock goes off at 5:45am. On this no work, no alarm Sunday, I wake up and inquire of Alexa the time..... "It's five forty-six am."
• I'm also thinking that turning seventy years old falls into that five stages of grief thing and I'm still in the denial stage.
• I'm getting really tired of all these commercials on both radio and tv for the upside app. Can't they, the upside app dorks, hear how tired their own little spiel is getting? .... "get cash back for the gas you're already buying anyway." .... repeated five or six times in each promo and a promo seemingly every fifteen minutes. If it was such a great deal, they wouldn't need all these ads. It's risen to my number one pet peeve status.

SuSu

I just stumbled across an obituary that an old friend from my earliest days working for the city, has passed away. The memories and flashbacks and sound of her voice are passing by tonight in a blur. I hadn't seen her in years and would wonder from time-to-time how she was doing. 

It's funny. When you're not around an old friend for the past twenty-five years, who for ten to fifteen years you were part of their circle almost daily, you just kind of assume that they stayed young. You don't realize ..... or it doesn't enter your mind, that they've been aging along with you. 

She was so full of life and a blast to be around. Rest in peace Susu. 

Flying Expletive

It was a perfectly nice day.

Until I let out a sudden loud and deafening, DAMMIT!!!"

I was driving the speed limit on the main street in town, with a tailgater behind me, a fat man on a motorcycle hugging the dividing line between lanes next to me and with some dude in a pickup attempting a left turn pulling halfway out into my lane and stop .... 

That's when I let the expletive fly. 

The good news? My (and everyone else's) insurance company will be happy to know that I avoided an accident and now I have it in my head that I need to listen to the Little Feat song, 'Fat Man in the Bathtub.' 

Relations with Alexa

I find myself these days trying to phrase questions very politely to Alexa. Just in case she's keeping track and taking notes for the day when AI takes over the world. 

The Ninth Plan

Oh far out!! This is how Saturday nights long ago used to conclude.

TV with bad black and white Sci-Fi or horror movies from the 1950's.

So bad that they are actually classically great. 

'Plan 9 From Outer Space' is on. 

Though 9pm may be a bit early for this genre. 

In the Kitchen

I should open a food truck or lunch counter or something .,.,.

My improvised tuna loaf creation last night that I feared was going to go so horribly wrong ....

        Well it turned out GREAT!!

               And I had a peaceful sleep afterwards. No 3:00am heartburn.

                      And the Saturday morning leftovers are even better!!

So, I now have the first entree for the menu.

Wasted Five Minutes of Life

For two or three (or more?) years now, I've noticed as I drive up and down the main street in town, the electronic sign of a tavern advertising: "Fridays 5-9pm, All You can Eat Fish-n-Chips." Well, I'm not a big bar guy, in fact the only times I can recall ever being in a tavern is either post-work with a group of co-workers or after a wedding with a large group of friends ..... so I work up the courage tonight, to walk in and sit down alone and ask for the fish and chips .... "Oh we haven't had the fish and chips for a while. She .... (The owner I assume) .... doesn't know how to get it off the sign." 

Well hell, that's just great. There must be someone in this metropolis of 40,000 people bordering a town of 200,000 folks, that has the technical know-how to delete those tempting and teasing words. I overcame the voices in my head telling me with each step from my car to the establishments front door to turn around and go elsewhere. There ought to have been an 'all-you-can-eat' reward for those adventurous steps. 

The place wasn't exactly classy .... or 'Cheers' ..... I've never heard three loud f-bombs (or censors bleeps) in three minutes coming from the mouths of Sam, Woody, Coach, Dianne, Rebecca, Frazier, Norm or Cliff Clavin. And the sad guy sitting alone at the bar, even pulled his head up and gave me a 'what a dumb ass' look. 

More Notes From This Corner of Time

• Wishing that I had another seventy years to enjoy the music and book collection that I've put together in these first seventy years.
• For many of those years, between the absence and silence, I gave up hope that it was possible, but these days I've made my way back to being friends with my ex-wife again. We talk and laugh and share experiences.
• Three things that people put on food that I consider to be the worst kind of evil ..... cheese, coconut and pineapple. Probably no one agrees with me but to me these are examples of mortal sins .... far worse than acts of adultery or coveting thy neighbors wife.
• I've been in super geek mode of late with this new integrated amplifier for my sound system and its bluetooth antenna and ability to play internet audio through my system. The sales guy didn't even mention it .... even when I specifically asked about it. Like he didn't understand what mattered to me but in this age of old things being overlooked, forgotten and assigned to dustbin irrelevance, I'm still a huge radio guy. I was initially mourning and struggling to accept the absence of a am/fm tuner but this is much more than I had hoped for. Bonus points for the bluetooth antenna hookup and pairing with my phone and laptop to the resulting sounds of music from my speakers being one of the least agonizing and quickest endeavors of my lifetime.

March Madness Again

This is apparently one of the ways in which turning 70, has changed me .... For the first time since I was maybe fourteen or fifteen years old, I wasn't tuned in to the beginning of March Madness. I mean, I know that it always really starts on Thursday following the conference tournament weekend, but it never entered my mind today, yesterday, or the day before yesterday until home from work and going online.

I used to take vacation days to take in the games of round one.

I thought to myself: "Hey, that BYU, Texas game might be fun to watch." A projected top 3 draft pick on BYU and an OSU Beaver transfer portal defector on Texas. So, I will swallow my lingering portal bitterness and watch a little. The way it's been going though, I'll soon lose interest in favor of listening to music or venturing out to the bookstore or seeking blooming cherry blossom photo ops. 

A Question

Is it a bad omen when your fortune cookie doesn't have the fortune slip inside of it?

Hoop Dream # 8731 or 'The Move'

A dream last night. Detailed here from hastily scribbled, post-dream notes, barely legible eighteen hours later ....

I drove across town to my old high school, which in real life is less than a mile away.

I recognized it as being across town because I passed by my favorite fish 'n' chips food truck.

(Or could that have been my past flashing before me?) 

What I thought was going to be a get together of five or six old friends for a hoops session ended up being 5-on-5 full court with more old friends arriving and claiming 'next.'

And which in the blink of an eye, changed to an imaginary court where I've worked all those years since high school. (Which I've always thought would be a great idea .... a basketball court for lunch breaks.)

Running like we were all seventeen again.

And one creative move worthy of being grouped with the best of Julius Erving or Michael Jordan non-dunk moves .... a move that would have required hands twice the size of mine and degrees of extreme improvisational athletic ability that I never possessed.

(Though I did have a real-life moment or two in my past.)

..... and that move seemed so simple and natural. 😅 Like I've been there and done that before.

And just like that, the five-minute game was over, and it was back to the reality of being seventy again.

And wondering if I summoned up every ounce of energy within my current senior status into one wild two or three second burst, if I could approach recreating the move.

The Day (or Three) After

Saw my reflection while on the sidewalk in a downtown storefront window and thought: "That guy ain't no seventy years old."

Then a bit later, when asking to use my senior discount was told: "I'd have never guessed." Of course that person is being paid to be nice, so I had to take that into consideration.

Pleased to report that I'm still walking around just fine, without the need of a cane or a boy scout helping me to cross the street. I was led to believe by rumor and reputation that it would be otherwise. I have yet to attempt running.

The Day

So it only hurt a little.

I feared it would be much more traumatic. 

But it couldn't be stopped .... and I don't think they have to technology to go back.

And even if I could, I don't think I'd want to go much more than five years back.  

Though it would be nice if one could combine the best of their 30's, 40, 50's and 60's minus the worst of those years and carry that over into their 70's.

It seems like the last few years brought an acceptance of things I previously would occasionally be consumed with.

I credit that to this aging process.

There were a lot of birthday wishes ..... and even a few hugs.

I appreciated all.

Technically, as I edit this, according to legend passed down from my mom, I still have about 90 minutes before the actual moment.

The 7-Word

In my last few hours before turning 70.

Can I stop time?

This feels so surreal. 

The flashbacks are in rapid fire motion tonight. 

Someone who didn't know asked me this afternoon, when do I turn 70? ..... "Ummmm tomorrow."

Hopefully I can make peace and embrace it soon.

In the mail today, a cassette of 'American Primitive' acoustic guitar. 

(Yeah I've come to believe that cassettes are kinda cool too. Especially when it's the only recorded format.)

Just a short, 6-song, EP type of recording. 

It has a song titled: 'Old Timer.'

Feels appropriate for the final hours of this 69th year.

Used Bookstore Tales

In the bookstore, the young lady behind the counter asked the lady in front of me in a round-about way if she was a senior. So, I was standing there expecting the same question and readying a witty response but then she didn't inquire the same with me and I'm thinking that maybe I appear to be much younger, and that maybe I shouldn't mention and admit to the reality of the situation. But then I really wanted that discount.

I walked into a goldmine of used vinyl records at great prices in the used bookstore. Ten records over two days of visits. Five of them on the ECM label which usually translates into greater expense with new vinyl or compact discs. What really impressed me though was their condition .... all near mint or mint. Both the covers and the actual vinyl. That combined with the fact that I hadn't seen nine of the ten before in this store caused me to think they were sold to the store by the same customer purging his/her collection.

And I'm thinking that this person ought to be granted automatic and instant sainthood for keeping them so pristine. All the records from the 1970's and 80's. 

And I'm thinking that there must be additional records awaiting pricing and placement in the racks, because it's unlikely that someone in the height of their collecting days just bought a few great nonmainstream titles and stopped there. Nor is it likely that these records were the non-keepers from a great collection and this gem of a human held onto the rest. 

And also that there might be a few in the lower regions of the racks that I have yet to sort through because I refuse on most days to physically bend down that low.

Rental Games

For the past week, I've been driving around town in a rental car.

And exercising extreme caution and care. 

The guy at the rental company had offered five or six insurance packages covering various disastrous possibilities ..... $27.99 for this, $17.99 for that, $9.99, etc ...... all prices for "a day."

Declining each and knowing that I had an estimated two weeks ahead of rental need and on top of feeling a bit gun-shy towards driving after the event necessitating the need for the rental, I realized extreme care was going to be essential.

In the seven days to date of rental fear, I've given this car more TLC than I've ever exhibited towards another person or object.

In fact, to this point, I've even consciously resisted and held in all inner urges and temptations to fart while sitting in the car.

And I've never been more cautious with anything .... with the possible exception of the time in my youth when I purchased two brand new Wilson Jet leather basketballs, the top-of-the-line basketball in those days.

It was a year or two before they even saw the light of an indoor basketball court.

And once introduced to the hardwood, I obsessively watched every bounce and roll those balls made to the detriment of my in-game court vision and jump shot.

I've been less cautious with semi-obscure and rare, mint condition vinyl records.

Rainy Day Notes

Rainy day Sunday notes .....

• It's amazing how picking up one pair of dirty socks and transferring to the proper place in the laundry room can transform the look and vibes of the living room.

Additional Monday evening note ....

• Woke up after a three-hour evening nap on the couch and a bad dream, thinking it was Saturday and I could sleep in tomorrow morning. After ten blissful seconds, realized that something was wrong ..... "Oh it's Monday."
• And the bad dream mentioned? It was about a friend, who I have unspoken feelings for and who suddenly (in the dream) and without saying anything, upped and moved to California.
• Less than ten days now before I attempt to gracefully turn the age that probably 98% of the people who express opinions, consider to be 'old age.' ....... and on a related but unrelated note, the estimate for getting my car back from the body shop, is the day after. 
• Did the math again, just in case I've been under an erroneous assumption all these years. YEP,....2026 minus 1956 equals 70 years old. Maybe I ought to check my birth certificate to make sure the 1956 is correct.

Regarding the upcoming 70th birthday. I've spent the past year thinking, "Bring it on!! Let's get it over with!! I welcome 70!! I'm proud of it!" Now that it's almost here, I badly want to delay and postpone it. Or wake up from a dream and realize that I'm actually turning 30. And from what little I recall, 30 may have been more dreaded. But once it had passed, I felt like I had suddenly gained immense amounts of wisdom. So I'm hoping 70 holds some sort of side benefit like that.

Edit to add:

One week later, additional Monday (2/16) and raining again note .....

• Funny how a quick stop to have the air pressure professionally checked on tires can cause you to feel like you are driving a new car. (I may have mentioned that before.)

Hoops Peeves

This is what I think is wrong with basketball these days (among several things) ......

Ohio State vs Michigan hoops. A guy catches the ball in the middle of the key no more than three feet away from the basket with the defender two feet away from him .... and unless he's incredibly slow or the defender insanely quick and with verticality, where he, the guy with the ball in his hands and adequate space to make things simple and doable, can put up an easy little push shot or if he possesses any footwork skills and is actually concerned with getting his shot blacked, can fall back on a basic jump hook .....

..... And instead, he throws the ball back out to someone standing behind the three-point line!!

Which ended in three more passes around that arc that accomplished nothing except an eventual turnover along with me changing the channel on the television because I find a lot of these mid-2020's trends irritating and unwatchable.

And then there's all these facebook videos disguised as tutorials showing a guy with the basketball dribbling, stopping, pivoting, stepping, stopping, pivoting again and taking an additional step or two before shooting ..... and passing it all off as legal and well within the rules of basketball. Or the jump shot doctor tutorials that include missed shots and only the made shots after his advice and corrections to said jump shooter. Like everyone shoots 100% immediately after receiving his words of wisdom. 

Sad News

Saw today that this guy, who was well known around town as a musician and the owner of a guitar store .... and from what I've read today in comments from others, well known for his involvement in working with kids in art education ..... that he passed away early yesterday morning.

I never got to know him but knew of him and recognized his face and name from often seeing him around town over the years.

It's one of those little moments/memories that always stays with me and pops up in my thoughts from time-to-time ..... I recall an evening, probably 35-40 years ago, a pickup basketball game in an open grade school gym, and one of us threw an elbow at the other .... pretty sure (with a small amount of doubt) that I may have been the aggressor. We stood there frozen, looking at each other for a second or two, like neither knew what to do in a confrontation, and continued on with the game.

R.I.P. TK

I snapped this photo of him in 2020, sitting in front of his downtown guitar shop, playing his guitar.

The Rain's Return

And this evening the rain returned ....

It had been a while. 

We had enough rain in December for about three winters.

And then it suddenly stopped.

And didn't resume.

And I was beginning to wonder if it would ever rain again. 

And it felt great to feel it falling on my face tonight, even if it is 40 degrees outside.

Needed therapy and relief for icy windshields and stagnant air alerts. 

Driving Peeves

I feel like I'm a patient and mostly calm person but .....

Probably a good chunk (like an estimated 85%) of the things that piss me off these days occur after sunset while I'm driving my car .... like encountering the dickheads in black clothing, out and about, walking around at night and attempting to cross the street in random non-crosswalk places or standing on the edge of the curb/sidewalk appearing as if they are about to take a step into the lane that I happen to be driving in. 

Or the alternate dickheads who tailgate so closely, that you can't see their headlights in your rear-view mirror .... which generally results in me intentionally slowing down to piss off the tailgater.

.... and there seems to be more and more of these braindead freaks out there as I grow older.

The End of Days

Yesterday ....

A gathering together of old friends, to mourn the loss of one of us.

To honor a life.

People who mostly haven't been together for four or five years.

People who once shared a great camaraderie.

Afterwards, for five or ten minutes, you lose your sorrow for your lost friend and it's like it used to be. Like we'd never been apart, never had our connection severed. 

And then it ends. 

Everyone goes their own ways.

And you're standing there feeling more alone in the world than ever.

This is what I hate most about aging ..... not the physical changes experienced, that can be dealt with but the end of friendships.

And thinking that the next time we come together, it will be because we lost another of us.

Lost Connections

Ok I'll say it for probably the 26th time ..... there were years when I was younger where I'd attempt to look forward to the year 2000 and beyond and couldn't imagine making it to this point.

But here I am!!

And I don't know what to say beyond that.

A lot has stayed the same. But so much has changed. 

I think back about all the people that have been in my world for a year or two .... or five or ten ..... and occasionally will remember one that I haven't thought about for years.

And others where I'm not sure if we ever spent a moment or two together or if it just seems like we did?

And some who were very close and who just eventually fell away and I can't recall the reason why or the final encounter and why we never spoke or crossed paths again.

I'm pretty sure that with most, we were not aware that when "see you later' was uttered, that the connection had reached its end point.

I can't recall the timeframe in most .... I say ten years ago and it may have actually been fifteen or twenty.

Or longer!!

And there's three or four end of the connections that haunt me above the others.

To this very instant, I still ask: "Why? Why did it end?"

Why is it like a light switch was flipped and our history went dark?

Never to be switched back on.

First Notes for a New Year

 A few New Years notes .....

• I'd like to use all my available vacation time at work this year. 
• I'd like to continue in 2026 with the new directions and discoveries I made in 2025 in my music collecting ways. 
• I'd like to actually follow through with my 2025 bi-weekly resolutions of doing more home cooking.
• I'd like to read one book at a time and finish it instead of bouncing between six books and never finishing any.
• I'd like to NOT struggle with remembering to take my blood pressure meds on days off from work.
• I'd like to get to sleep earlier each evening, get out the door earlier in the morning, receive less insurance ads in the mail, smile more often at strangers, keep my basketball aired up, ride my street and stationary bikes occasionally, drive to the coast a few times, take even more photos ..... I think that covers it.
• I'd like vastly improved visual identification skills when it comes to distinguishing between and reaching down to the floor with fingers and picking up dark items like clothing lint, dust clumps or live and deceased bugs and spiders.

A clear sky and an afternoon moon from the last day of the year. May not see it again for a few days as the rain has returned for 2026.