Change

Been so stuck on auto-pilot lately ..... work - home - dinner - sleep - back to work ..... that I woke up this evening from falling asleep on the couch thinking it was 5am (it was actually 11pm) and bemoaning the thought of going back to work ..... and then the sudden realization: "Hey, I took a vacation day for Friday. I don't have to go anywhere."

So, I'm thinking that I may have to try this vacation thing again.

I still have five weeks and two days remaining for use before the end of the year.

I always feel like I'm letting someone down if I don't show up for work.

I wasn't always this way but that's what 20-25 years as a supervisor did to me.

Then I look around and see other people coming and going as they please and decided that I want a piece of that action. 

My old boss asked me in front of my current boss, if I'd like to come back to my former job.

When I left that job, I had second thoughts for a few months but now am so glad that I made the switch.

Though I still stop, look around, and wonder what if I hadn't made the change?

I miss aspects of that job.

But much longer might have killed me!!

That's meant to be taken literally. 

It had gotten so chaotic with not enough help. 

And I was getting to an age where I just couldn't deal with it any longer.

And I think that my current boss recognized that and offered an option with much less stress.

Actually, as it was described, with no stress ....  but I tend to create it for myself anyway. 😅

I think my efforts for all those years were recognized and rewarded with the opportunity for a change.

It's been three years since that change, and I am incredibly grateful. 

I'm allowed to carry out my daily responsibilities with minimal supervision or question.

And the only person that I answer to asks me regularly if I want to go out in the parking lot and fight.

So maybe I'll go hunting for vinyl records on my vacation day. 

Or maybe I'll do nothing at all .... though I'm thinking that breakfast somewhere would be really nice.

I'm not anti-going places but I don't much enjoy driving these days so it would be nice if I could just magically materialize in record stores around the northwest.

So it's now 2am and I'm listening to a Greensky Bluegrass album.

Music at this hour used to be my norm. Now it's a vacation day activity.

I was watching a vinyl community video earlier of a guy showing off his estate sale finds .... mostly the usual stuff you see all over ..... and thinking: "Man, when my siblings hold an estate sale for my collection, someone will be finding a few different titles and sounds."

And as eclectic as I think my choices are, the vinyl community shows me that there are people with far more varied and unusual leanings.

So I strive to keep up with the progressive vinyl Joneses. I attempt to get farther from center.

But there's so much further to go.

A few months ago I purchased an acoustic guitar based drone album.

And a few weeks ago, I picked up what I'll describe as a 'contemporary post-punk rap' album.

And I grabbed a few titles from the "Punk" section of the record store.

And I've been exploring all kinds of different jazz sounds. 

My oldest friends would be shocked!! They might just think it heresy. Ot at least, travesty.

I think it's all far out and groovy.

A fiery sunset from earlier this month. A vision that never becomes ordinary. Each image, even seconds apart, is unique. Each is viewed with the thought that possibly it will be the last one presented.

If only every evening ended this way. And each morning the same.