The R-Word Again

I may have mentioned this before but I don't think so.

I ponder retirement often ..... the 'R-word' as I like to call it. Besides having a pension and social security already started, I still worry about the money and insurance thing. The insurance through my job is preferred to exploring the world of medicare. 

My other concern though is I fear that if I did actually officially and in physical practice, do the R-word, I'd devolve into taking a shower and changing clothing about once every six months.  

Work keeps me in line. 

The Secret Discovered

I think I've discovered the secret to Oregon State's basketball team winning games.

If I tune in on television from the beginning, join the game in progress ..... even if they are ahead by twelve to fifteen points like the other night ..... or set the dvr to record it and watch later ..... they lose. If I give it zero attention, they win! 

Case in point .... today's game. I assumed it was an evening game so didn't give it a thought during the afternoon. Until I was driving home from work and turned on the radio to discover that it was over, and they had won. 

I can only conclude that I am the reason they are 4-13 in their conference this season.

Another good thing that happened today, probably because I wasn't paying attention. I stumbled upon and into girl scout cookie season. No matter how hard I try to abstain, I cannot resist the thin mint cookies. It's a singular obsession. I don't even know what other options there are. I looked at the choices today while my payment was being processed but it didn't register. The thin mints are manna to me.

The Yankees beat the Tigers 22-10 in the opening game of exhibition season. Looks like the batters are ahead of the pitchers by a football score. Just think what it might have been if the pitchers and catchers didn't always report to training camp early.

Birthday Notes

Another birthday today! Can you believe the 68th? .... I can't. No freaking way!!

The time seemingly passes slowly when you are younger, especially when you are still in your school days, but eventually you reach this point where I am now, look back and realize it's all gone by in a flash.

Been doing a lot of reading and ruminating today. I need to find a third r-word thing to go with those. 

I think how my father only made it to 63 or 64 and feel fortunate and lucky. I say that very humbly because I am well aware that everything could change five minutes from now.

I found a Smothers Brothers record in a thrift store yesterday. That listen certainly transported me back to an earlier time.

I can honestly say that I 'feel' younger on the first day of 68 than the last few weeks of 67. And there are parts of me that still feel 18. It would be impossible to explain though. 

The thing about time passing by is the connections to people that you lose along the way. You may gain new friends every day as you grow older but there are always the older connections and the various reasons why those friendships and relationships end. And there's no replacing the most meaningful connections. No matter how valuable a new friendship is and what level it may rise to, it cannot replace what existed and mattered in another. It may become just as important in its own unique way, but you will always feel the loss of what once existed. I don't know what it can be compared to.

So now that I've made it to 68, I really want to reach the next number in the order.

(To Be Continued)

V-word Day

So it's turning out to be a pretty good day because I've made it through with no mention of the v-word day, except for the self-inflicted one to start the morning where I asked a co-worker if she received a card from "the gringo" ..... (because I'm kind of mischievous in the sort of way) .....  and then I make the mistake of stopping at the grocery store on my way home and two guys in front of me to checkout have bouquets of flowers and they open another cash register where the person that beats me to first to that line, has two boxes of specialty chocolates and then on my way out the door there's a lady walking towards me who must have just received flowers ......

...... And I've been on high alert all day to go into my rant if anyone dares to step in deep and call it a holiday. 

Warning, Warning!! .... B.S. In Progress!

Sometimes it's incredibly simple identifying the pure bullshit artists. When they start in loudly spouting numbers that they couldn't possibly have access to and where your inner detectors and alarms are wailing away and your inner voices screaming out: "Oh shut the hell up!! How could you have any idea of that?? 

And you just get more and more arrogant about your bullshit. Like the only way to get the lesser minds to believe it is to get louder and repetitive. But it doesn't work because their reputation proceeds them. 

Mistaken Identity

"Enter the last four digits of your phone number please ..... No that's wrong, try again ..... No, that's not what we have ..... Try once more" the pharmacist said. 

After four attempts I was like: "That's my number. It hasn't changed" while thinking to myself: "What the hell, has the dementia started?" 

"What's your birthday again?"  ........ "Ummmm oooppps."   

I had thought it odd that he had to finish up my prescription as I had received a text that it was ready for pickup. 

He had confused me with another guy bearing the same first and last name. Had that happen to me in high school once when called into the assistant principal's office to be questioned about my intentions with his daughter. I'm sure there's been one or two other times between then and now. Pretty sure that I'm in the top-5 of most common first and last names. For my generation anyway.

I would have really hated it had I taken home some guy's Viagra prescription. 

In My Dreams

I don't know if it was a recurring dream in the same evening or just happened three times within one dream ..... but I dreamed that I was driving along and suddenly opened my eyes and snapped to attention, realizing that I was in the lane for oncoming traffic. 

This at least makes a little sense to me as I have this one narrow and single-lane road I drive regularly that causes a little anxiety if driving in the dark. Especially because it seems to get a little busier each year. The road used to be navigated in relative solitude and now it's often like people are returning home from a football game. 

And I always wonder where all these people are going at 6:00am as there's not much out there for the mile or two ahead. 

Senior Issues

Has it now come to this?

Earlier today, I couldn't open a bottle of water. I couldn't generate the necessary power and torque behind my twist, even wrapping my hand in a paper towel to get a better grip. I had to borrow a pair of channel locks to get a sip of water. Hopefully it was just one of those one-time rare bottle and cap seal things. 

A reminder that the senior years are not kind .... especially to seniors. 

Let There Be Clutter

I see photographs and illustrations of supposedly beautiful model homes and think they look cold, sterile and lifeless. I think there should be lots of stuff to look at and think and talk about ..... books and art and figurines and photographs and vinyl records and such, scattered about. Providing stories. Taking up space and adding splashes of color and culture. 

I say; "Let there be clutter!!"

The 50th

My 50th high school reunion is being planned for later this year and I struggle with if I want to go. There's a voice in my head that makes it feel like a requirement that I attend yet I doubt if anyone outside of a facebook friend or two that I've had contact with, would notice if I went missing. That's not feeling sorry for myself it's just how life has worked out over the years. 

I do know that it would end up being a major regret if I don't go.

I've made my thoughts known over the past few years that any reunions should be held at the old high school. I want to walk the halls again and remember old times. I want to sit for a meal in the cafeteria. I want to stand up against the wall again (if I can remember the spot) and people watch. 

That's not an idea that anyone seems to share with me .....

....... And it seems so obvious to me!!!  

I'm pretty confident that current school district officials and high school staff (including janitorial), could let loose a bunch of 68-year-olds to wander the hallways with minimal supervision. 

And just maybe, that unrealized rumor from the final weeks of senior year of the imminent appearance of a streaker, would be revived and actually happen.

Also to consider ....  I know that once there, if I have an experience measured in the most minute amounts of enjoyment, that I'll most surely struggle mightily with the emotions of walking away at the end of the evening .... just like I did with the graduation ceremony all those years ago.

To be continued .....