Survived Another Year

The last day of the year!!!

Captured some great (I like them anyway) photos of seagulls coming in for landings on water. So much of getting good pictures is just being in the right place and having a little patience to wait for an image to present itself and looking ahead to possibilities.

I keep thinking today of that Bruce Cockburn song, "The Last Night of the World."

It occurred to me yesterday, while driving the back road to Corvallis, that I'll most likely die someday from driving off the road and into a tree while scanning the countryside for photo ops. I used to wish that it would be while playing basketball but since I don't do that anymore .....

Reunion and Other Notes

Christmas Eve ..... Saw nieces, nephews and siblings that I hadn't seen for a few years ..... which was through of no fault of theirs. To sum things up as simply as possible: It feels good to be called "Uncle Mick" again.

• Fell in love with a watch the other day. The lady even let me try it on. ..... then I saw the price. For a second or two the thought of making a run for it raced through my mind. Too bad that I can't run much anymore. God I have some damn expensive tastes! Why don't they display the prices on timepieces like they do on everything else in the jewelry case and save me the angst?
• I have this spot I keep returning to, rumored to be a great location for bald eagle sightings. But all I've seen are red-tail hawks. As was once said on Seinfeld: "Not that there's anything wrong with that."
• I'm beginning to believe that the number one issue with growing older is in keeping up with taking a person's prescribed medications.

FIGHT!!!

Sometimes you just walk away from stupid arguments between co-workers because the participants are obviously not being fair and are guilty of the very same thing that they are accusing the other of doing (or not doing) ...... and you just know that if you do stick your nose and thoughts in the middle of it all, and even though you are the supervisor of all involved, that you are just going to end up being accused by both sides of playing favorites. And how the hell that's possible, playing favorites for both sides, I don't freaking know. So while you'd really love to tell everyone to grow the hell up, you end up just hoping that they all bitch themselves into exhaustion and the realization that I'm not in the least bit interested or planning to take any action on anyone's behalf and thus ends the strife.

Dreams (Continued)

Again I ask, Where do these dreams come from?

A dream about an old grade school and high school classmate who I've seen once since 1974. And being shy around girls back then, I never had much interaction with her to start with. The one time since, where we crossed paths, it was her that recognized me. We spoke for a few minutes and it wasn't until goodbyes were said and we both walked away that I realized who she was. But there she is in the dream last night, speaking back and forth like we were great old friends reunited.

A question? ..... What is the length of an average dream? The majority of my dreams, I recall maybe ten seconds of when I awake. There's surely more to them than that?

Present State

The doctor tells me that "Your body has been through a lot" the last six months. That I'm doing much better now. That causes me to wonder just how bad of shape I was really in? Like I might not have made it to today if I hadn't given in to my stupid fears last May and made my first appointment and visit in decades. He tells me that I've gone from being "severely anemic" to having a normal hemoglobin count and that my high blood pressure is steadily falling. And now that I know what this better condition feels like, I can tell the difference from where I was and where I am. Last May I would have said that I felt fine but now I can actually see that I wasn't so fine. I had in fact forgotten what "fine" felt like.

Anyway, I'm very thankful. I don't actually know how close I was to something very serious but I was afraid. I don't want to misrepresent my condition or sound overly dramatic, but I do know that I didn't want to have only a few months left. I do want to see one hundred years old some day. I don't want to be one of those persons where upon his passing they say: "But he was so young." 

I might not survive the next ten minutes but I'm at least hopeful that I will!!!

To Vacation Or Not To Vacation?

It's kinda funny how I can get into a daily groove or pattern at work that I'm comfortable with and where I feel needed and like the sky just might fall if I'm absent and also with my routines away from work and not want to disrupt all that by selfishly taking vacation time but once I do use several days or a week of vacation time, I struggle big-time with the thought of having to return to work.

I just can't seem to make the voices inside my head happy.

Even the one thing that I thought I would NEVER find comfort in ..... getting up at 5:30am ..... Well if you do it enough consecutive times, you can even get happy with that. Well almost anyway. I'm surprised that my heart didn't just stop while typing that. I probably should go wash my mouth out with soap for even suggesting that a person might get comfortable with waking up at 5:30.

Let There Be Light

Amazing how replacing one long time burnt out and ignored light bulb with a hundred watt bulb can brighten one's attitude towards life. It seems that I've become too accustomed to varying shades of darkness. Now I can see again. Just like the first day with a new pair of glasses. And my face actually looks better in the mirror. (Though I can't help wondering, what if the dimmer look is a more accurate representation?) At least now I can feel better about myself when looking in the mirror. A boost for the battered self-esteem.

Late Night Notes

• I guess I should resign myself to the realities of growing older. Accept the truths and all that. I'm not going to go more than a few days without some sort of ache or pain arising from who knows where.
• I love the vibes and spirits floating around in record stores. Wondering what's going through each persons mind as they are flipping through bins of vinyl records, searching for something special. It never gets old or usual. There's a book waiting to be written, full of people's stories and experiences. ….. Or just thoughts on things overheard.
• Decades later, I still have occasional dreams where my ex-wife makes an appearance. I should note that I do not consider these as bad dreams. Nothing wild or crazy going on. We're just sharing time together. It seems as if she's happy in the dreams.
• I grew up Catholic. It's been many years since I walked away. I'm not ready yet but I have suspicions that one day, I'll return.
• The reason why is not clear but the best time to listen to music is the hours after midnight. During those late night, early morning hours and with the mood present ..... it's like I want to listen to every song ever written. I can't get enough. I don't know when to stop and sleep. I'm held in check only by having to go to work in the morning.

Life Moments

Standing too close (hopefully) to the hand wash station at work while washing several test pieces used in metal detector checks. After completing the chore and stepping away, it appeared that I had experienced an accidental release of bodily fluids and wet myself. Hopefully the sprays were experiencing blockage of the pipes and simply shooting water in strange directions or that I was in fact positioned too close. The only other possibility being that I've lost total control and sensation of bodily functions in progress. It all made for a few good laughs from co-workers.

Venus Rising!!!

Cool stuff alert for obsessed sky gazers!!! The bright light in the sky, brilliantly standing out, very close to the moon a few pre-dawn mornings ago and the following two mornings. I should have known ..... discovered that it was Venus. Fortunate that it wasn't obscured by the usual clouds in these parts. I had to stop and admire the sight for a few moments. Impressive and awesome!!!

A random note, or three .....

• Why is it that whenever I feel the need for an exclamation point, I can never use just one? I usually employ three ..... for added emphasis I guess. Just so everyone knows that I'm excited!!! Leave no doubt!!!
• Helped a friend with a little extra muscle and needed extra pair of hands in hanging a few larger framed paintings. Amazing pieces of various shapes, awkward for one person to handle. I never realized that the proper hanging of artwork was such an exact science. I experienced the very real fear of accidentally dropping expensive works. Works from a century or more ago ..... because I do admittedly possess the great potential for klutz-like moments and which thankfully for everyone involved, didn't happen!!!
• One worry erased .... The possible cancer causing prescription medicine (low risk they say) that I've been taking is not on the federal recall list!!! Made for a joyous drive home from the pharmacy at the opposite end of town

Final Notes of November

• Why does it seem that I'm more envious about the music that I don't have then happy about what I have collected? It's like I could own every record ever made and I still wouldn't be satisfied.
• It's not official yet but today, with it's cold, steady and driving rain felt like the first day of winter. I'm still listening though, for the "sound" you can often "hear" at the moment the seasons change.
• Many police cars blocking traffic for no obvious reason on the main road through town this afternoon. I read later that a pedestrian had been struck and killed there. Can't get the thought out of my mind of what was going through the deceased persons mind as his final seconds ticked away? The seconds just before he started crossing the street?
• Had the strange feeling of being an outsider today while at the Farmers Market after looking around and out of twenty-ish people present, realizing that I was the only male.
• My mother and fathers birthdays both passed by in the last ten days. Apparently no matter what age you reach, there's always a feeling of being alone in the world when both your parents are gone.