Apparently there's no magic marker. I suppose that I had always assumed that there might be one. A line between young and old. You just realize one day that you've silently crossed over. There's no trumpets or celebrations to signify the moment. Though a sandwich or some ice cream in observance might be nice.
I fear that I've made the transition.
Maybe it's when you find yourself arriving home on many days from work .... and staying there!! With no intent of going back out into the world until the morning comes. Your content with just putting on a movie and slipping off into dreamland, as bizarre as that place often is.
Or maybe it's when you're on foot, crossing the street in traffic and find yourself going on faith that the oncoming cars will slow down or stop for you ..... because you ain't running across no more streets ever again!!
Or maybe it's those moments when you have to demand of yourself to stop walking around home and other various places, seemingly for no apparent reason, like an old man?
Is it when you recognize that several of your long held attitudes towards life, people, work, etc., have updated themselves and changed to a snarly, "I don't care" status? And you seem to be growing more irritated at daily situations by the moment. Like specifically for myself, traffic noise and all the stop, slow down and starting while images of your past life flashes by in front of you.
You start thinking: How can I reverse this trend? Maybe I need a change in diet and more exercise? Or maybe I need to drink more water? Should I sign up for a yoga class?
You begin looking at the time remaining in your life as a short term prospect instead of being far into the future. Like there's a damn good chance that you have less than twenty years remaining, where the previous thinking was in terms of infinity .... or longer! (That's the one that I struggle most with these days as I have issues dealing with my once assumed mortality.)
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