Awake Again

Awake again I can't pretend ..... (Jackson Browne lyric from 1974.)

Awake from a dream that I was playing high school baseball.

And in, way over my head.

Playing against the South Salem Saxons. They had the reputation of being the snob school.

          As I recall. 🤣

Stuck in right field and warned by the coach that the batted balls would be flying my way.

He wasn't wrong. And I was playing much too shallow and reacting way too slowly.

Balls were flying over my head. Whizzing by to the right and left.

Batting ninth in the order, I had my first at bat in the second inning. 

I couldn't find a bat that I liked. All too heavy.

My practice swings were way too slow. 

In real life and in the loosely organized teenage summer leagues I played in, I was terrified of the left handers.

Afraid of getting hit by a fastball. I'd stand in there against the righties and bravely hack away but those wild-eyed lefties always frightened me.

To this day, I'm still thankful that two of the most intimidating lefties were on my team and I never had to face them.

          But there were others. 

And I've digressed .....

Of course in this nightmare, I'd be facing a lefty. 

But he took pity on me, soft tossing and quick pitching to someone he saw as an easy out.

I worked the count to three and two ..... mostly by leaving the bat on my shoulder and not swinging. 

I did smack a little weak liner ..... foul ball down the first base/right field line.

I figured the ump was not in a mercy extending mood, so I swung at the 3-2 pitch.

          And popped up behind the plate to the catcher.

At least I didn't strike out swinging .... or even worse, looking.

On my way back to the bench, I reached out with one arm and caught a guy who had slipped and was free falling down a steep incline. At least I performed one good deed.

I woke up before I had to take the field again. 

Give me the comfort of basketball playing dreams.

Even the ones where I couldn't make a shot weren't as horrifying as this. 

Why am I dreaming about baseball? I've never even fantasized about that.

And why the two things I feared most? .... Playing the outfield and facing a lefty?

Hopefully not to be continued when I drift back to sleep.

I wonder if the fit bit smart watch that I'm wearing, records the alternating moments of embarrassment and terror that I felt?