Time and Storms

I've begun to hate time.

I looked at the calendar today and realized that Thanksgiving is close.

How is that possible?

I'm not 69 yet but before I know it, I'll be 70. (Hopefully)

There are few things, if any, that are as relentless as time passing by.

I blame covid ..... and I blame my doctor. 

Finding numbers in blood tests resulting in being sent to specialists for multiple visits and follow-ups. 

So far I've emerged ok but it has seemingly had the side effect of speeding up times pace.

I've spent too many days and hours feeling anxiety about the next visit.

I truly dread seeing emails informing me that I have a new message on "My Chart."

I did take a little comfort the other day in overhearing my doctor tell another patient that he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do.

I mean, I've been feeling a little trapped at times.

Like I have to get this or that done.

Really wishing that I had someone like a son or daughter watching out and advocating for me. 

I hear noise outside as I type.

I assume it's a cat on my back deck, flip on the lights and see that it's the wind and rain.

Leaves falling ..... like snowflakes. 

I sure hope there's some autumn colors remaining in the trees in the morning. 

(I think there's an idea somewhere for another attempt at poetry in a few of those words.)

I haven't been out much with my camera yet, documenting autumn.

I think I'll sleep on the couch tonight with the curtains open and lights on so I can feel a part of the evening storm.

I don't want to wake up and realize that I slept through it all.

It was almost like they were performing a ritual dance.