Counting Down

Just a few hours left in this year. A very transitional one in ways I recognize and acknowledge but struggle to explain. Looks like I'm going to make it through. (Crossing my fingers.) Hopefully the coming year will be smoother and less worrisome. I find it very telling that I just noticed a huge hole in the heel of my sock. 

A note or possibly two:

• The other day, I was listening to a co-worker talking about another person and I said, "Yeah, he's a wee bit eccentric." .... Later reflecting, "Wow that's sure an example of the pot (moi) calling the kettle black." 
• I was attempting a late push to finish one of the three books that I've been reading but too often have fallen asleep. I may never finish since my eyes tend to become weary, one page in.
• I have never understood the use of the word, 'queue.' Why do you need another word for line? Especially one using five letters to spell but pronounced sounding as one letter. 
• And so time goes ..... 2023 is here!!

Old School Hoopster

Apparently, I am 'old school.'

Been watching all these videos of guys showing off their basketball footwork and moves to the hoop. And been leaving a few comments .... "That's a travel." ..... "Asking to have the ball stolen" .... " Not necessary," etc. 

When did I get so critical of other's game? But I can't help thinking that those might work or get by the refs if you're Stephen Curry or Kevin Durrant, but otherwise, probably not.

Whatever happened to the legitimate jump stop / crossover step? Or the drop step? Things that didn't require some fake sleight of hand or feet?  

Old school? Well, I am of the belief that they should put a limit on the number of three-point shots that can be attempted in a game. I find it boring when five or six consecutive possessions end in a three-point attempt. I also believe that the players from the 1950's and 60's, who on old films sometimes look 'stiff,' would have been every bit as skilled as the players of today had they had the same knowledge and training methods available and had the game evolved during their time, the way it is today.

Random Observation(s) About Un-named Geek/Dork

 I don't know if this is going to end up being one or ten but random notes ..... 

• I can't seem to look in the mirror without noticing one beard whisker standing apart from the others and needing to be trimmed and just let it go until I spot three or four. I'm obsessed with making corrections to any that are out of place.
• Icestorm 2022 .... My power went out just minutes before I arrived home from work. Which is exactly my kind of luck. For a few moments, I mistakenly thought lifetime trends had changed for me. The freezing rain had held off falling until the exact moment I departed work. I thought: "Great!! I'll get something to eat and get home and warm before the roads get bad." But the usual karma, which I maintain is undeserved, was just waiting behind closed doors at home.
• Hey spammers! Don't you consider the possibility that you might be tipping your hand by sending out your crap on Christmas day? Just by glancing at my legit inbox it appears that the great majority of legitimate people take the day off and refrain even from email.

Help I've Fallen and Can't Get Up

So the freezing rain arrived yesterday afternoon and continued overnight into this morning. And I, under the impression that it had warmed up enough this afternoon and was starting to melt, walked outside to a layer of pure ice and sure enough, slid, slid some more, got my balance and slid again .... and again. Then scraped the ice off my car, turned and attempted to go back inside my home, slipped and fell, landing on my rear end, hurting mostly my pride.

The impact made quite a thud. I sure hope that the frozen ground is ok. Imagine having me unexpectedly fall on top of you.

The tricky part was trying to get back on my feet. 

I don't want to be one of those actors' doing commercials for medical alert devices while pleading: "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up."  I'm not sure it would have been a routine task had I been 18 years old. I should ask the neighbors to check their security cam. Could be a viral video there.  

There's Always One

I'm always amazed ..... or is it dumbfounded? .... at these guys that you can predictively expect to see, when it's 33 degrees outside, walking around in the grocery store like its July or August in central Louisiana, (something I've experienced), wearing shorts and a t-shirt. And there always seems to be just one. Like there's a pool of guys and each day, one is assigned to each store in town. It just amazes me. I never see two. It's always one guy, but there's ALWAYS a guy. Are these guys half cow, half human, and equipped to survive the cold?

I'm 66 years old and have never thrown a punch at another person but I imagine if I ever do, it will be at one of these freezing temperature denier guys. It just pisses me off royally, that these guys, in full arrogance, strut around like the cold is not an issue. 

Notes From a Rainy Day

 Random observations, notes and thoughts .....

• Downtown this past afternoon enjoying a bowl of corn chowder watching people playing chess on the floor below me, while the rain was falling outside. Feeling alive and part of the community again.  
• I accidently ran a red light today. Maybe I should just stay home.
• The downtown bookstore eliminated magazines at the start of covid and now they've reduced the size of the poetry section. Not good developments.
• I tried something new ..... Initiating conversation, smiling and laughing with a stranger. It wasn't the moments of terror that I've always imagined. Maybe I'll try it again.

Smart Cloth

There are few things that I detest more than looking through smudge marks on lenses. I have five or six of those small cloths designed for cleaning eyeglasses, strategically placed around my place but never seem to have one within reach when needed. And they never seem to be where I recall leaving them. I wish there was a 'smart' cloth so Alexa could advise of the whereabouts. Perhaps the solution is to purchase ten more?

Senior Discount

You know how sometimes in life; bad things happen to good people? Well occasionally, good things happen to weird people. Case in point: I was in the local record store yesterday and was informed that they would be giving me a 10% lifetime discount starting now. 

"Really? From now on?"....  I asked.

"Yes" ...... though I suppose that's only true if they remember their kind gesture, but they did pick up on my name after only one visit. 

I don't think the gesture was recorded anywhere for future reference. Nor was I given a discount qualifying card or a secret code word to utter.

A moment later, as if to justify it, I was asked if I was a veteran. "Well no, but I am a senior."

OK, that's good enough. That works. And we can always say that you're protecting the vinyl. 

More Weird Dreams

More weird dreams but from what I can recall, at least it was a quickie.

I dreamed that I was driving my car down a residential street following my sister in her car. She stopped, so I stopped. I got out and walked to her car to inquire why she stopped. Suddenly a stranger appeared from the shadows, jumped in my car and drove away. That's it. That's the dream. 

Makes me wonder if the entire night is full of such 'shorts' and it's just the occasional weirder than hell ones that we remember.

Random Pet Peeve

I hate when I type out a sentence or two and it just doesn't read or sound quite right, but I can't figure out how to fix it. 

Field of Dreams

Followed up my glorious dream from a couple nights ago with one to even things out.

A dream that I was playing catcher in a baseball game with an old friend pitching who made it to the Single A, minor league level in his youth. I might be wrong, because .... well you know, age and memories and all ..... but I seem to recall him telling me that he once pitched to Ken Griffey Jr.. That's the version of him that I was trying to catch. And from the first pitch, I couldn't catch a thing. They just went right on by me to the backstop. Pitch after pitch. Eventually, totally embarrassed, I just quietly moped away into oblivion. Except that I wasn't all that quiet. I let any onlookers know what I was feeling.

I wonder if I was yelling out loud from my sleep? I should ask the neighbor if he heard me. 

So now I'm back in a humble place. 

And to think that I always thought that I could have been a pretty darn good baseball player if it wasn't for fear of getting hit by a 95mph fastball ..... or even a 55mph little league changeup.

Wondering what's next in dream land? Trip and fall just as I am about to take the first step on the moon?

More Notes, Weird Thoughts, and Assorted Stuff

There seems to be two things that genuinely excite me about coming home each day. One is knowing that there's a Yankee or Blazer game on television and the other .... knowing that a delivery of music on vinyl or cd is expected. Don't get me wrong, the other days are not considered less than exciting, just not as exciting. And I know that this is pretty boring stuff to 99.999% of the world's population but it gets my pulse elevated.

Other notes of the day .....

• Why are some things that you gain more experience and assumingly increased comfort with as each day in a lifetime of performing the act passes, but actually (or suddenly) become more worrisome as the years accumulate? Like driving your car in heavy traffic. Fact .... I was much more comfortable driving around Portland as a 20-something than I am now as a 'senior citizen.'
• I think it's official now. For a while it was accepted in some eyes and circles, but not others. But I think I'm at the age where I'm a senior in everyone's estimation. Is there anyone who says 66.9 doesn't qualify? If so, I want to become friends. I mean, I'm proud of making it to this point and all that but that doesn't mean I prefer it over the other age designation.
• I used to think that people who regularly claimed to be in bed by 9:00pm were either insane or lying, but I find myself trending in that direction of late. I just can't last until midnight (or later) any longer.

The Dream

A long-lasting dream about playing basketball and hitting 3-pointer after 3-pointer. Maybe ten consecutive. I think the best I ever managed in real life was three in a city league game. The shots were in a two- or three-minute span of time and forced the other team to call a time out in frustration of my torching their defense. I loved it when the other team is yelling and pointing fingers at each other over whose responsibility it is to guard me. Though I can only think of two instances where that took place. I once told someone that it was four made shots, but upon further consideration and recollection, that may have been a lie. 

In the dream, I was moving freely and fluidly around the court. Now, I can't even remember a time when I moved like that.

In the dream, all my teammates and the opponents' faces are blurred. There's not a single face that I can identify after awakening. The dream is mostly dribble to a spot on the floor, gather (pick up the dribble and begin the act of shooting) and launch. And this time the shots are all going in. In most of my hoop dreams, nothing falls (goes in).

Why is it that in dreams, I'm always much younger than the fact of the moment? I'm always 20 or 30-something, running, jumping, shooting 3's ..... or doing whatever act it is that is being played out. I'm never 66, closing on 67. I'm always in my prime, though I can't testify that I ever had a prime. 

In the dream, defenders don't even pose a minor nuisance. It's like I'm Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, Pete Maravich, Larry Bird and Steph Curry all rolled into one.

It's like I have infinite stamina and flawless technique and I've never known a shooting slump. And historically speaking, that's far from being true.

In reality, I think it's a sin how the 3-point attempt has taken over basketball. (That and disfigured spines on vinyl record covers are my main pet peeves these days.) In the dream, I'm chucking them up like I'm getting paid by the attempt.

Starting a New Trend

I'm attempting to start something new. 

A new fad. A new trend. I want to be trending.

See, in the past year, I've come to hate wearing traditional socks. They suddenly feel constricting. But I also hate having cold toes. My solution? I walk around my place with my socks half on and half off. My toes are covered as is half of my foot, but the heel is bare. I've only once nearly tumbled down the stairs while stepping on the loose part of the sock that was left flapping in the wind.

Crash and Burn

It's funny when the computer system at work is down and I keep thinking of tasks I can perform while waiting for it to be restored ..... until I realize that each of these tasks is also reliant on the computer. 

It's like: "Hey I can do this ...... Oh wait, no I can't." 

Then, a few minutes later: "Maybe this ...... well ummmm no, can't do that either."

Freaking computers and their systems. Everything so dependent on their smooth operation. These days, about the only remaining tasks not requiring computer assistance is sweeping the floor and visiting the restroom.

Fighting Words

My boss occasionally will ask if I want to fight. In fact, yesterday, he asked again.

"Sure ..... why not? .... You want to do it right here in front of everyone or back behind the building?" 

Of course, the truth is, I've never been in a real life, kick-ass scuffle other than a couple semi-heated teenage wrestling matches, consisting of some pushing and grabbing and rolling around on the ground, but no punches were thrown. So, in a real fight, I wouldn't know what to do. 

My experience with throwing punches is from the Batman television series in the 1960's. Whenever a 'batfight' would break out, maybe Batman and Robin against the joker and his henchmen, my brother and I would jump up, bounce around the room and punch out all the couch cushions. 

That's it!! That's my fighting experience!!

And besides .... I'm more of a peacekeeper than a fighter. And given that I'm an old dog, I not much up to learning new tricks. 

Choose Me!!!

Wow!! I am stunned. For quite possibly the first time in this advanced number of years of a lifetime, I walked into a store and found the item (non-food) that I had driven there for, within thirty seconds. It was like, I took ten steps, opened my eyes and there it was in front of me, even the exact item number, that I had been repeating in my head, over and over, worried that I'd forget and have to run out to my car and check the manual, waving its price tag and saying: "pick me!!"

Generally, the search process involves several round trips, up and down every aisle of the store before I decide that hell, I don't really need it today anyway .... and head for home.

On the other hand, I became stuck and confused on the third line while playing Wordle today. It seems like there's three or four letters from which my mind assumes, one or two are a part of every legally existing five letter word and if all those letters get eliminated early ..... well, I become clueless. And wordless too. 

The Trees, The Trees

I sometimes assume that with all these years behind me, I have gained so much wisdom and patience and an overall presence of stability .... then I catch myself getting highly annoyed at the number of paper copies a coworker is making. And I'm like: "Really? Really man? How do you sleep at night? Think about the trees."

It seems that if I'm not thinking about the sky, then I'm thinking about the trees.  

News &Trends ..... or The Significance of Every Moment

Listening these days to the news of the world and thoughts on where we're headed, and I often catch myself thinking: "Hopefully I'll be long gone when that happens." 

It just seems that there's little hope. I wonder what young people think of the future? Of their prospects for a quality life? Of surviving all this?  

I recently read an article of predictions for the near future and it was far more optimistic than I feel. Hopefully solutions will be found. 

As for myself, I try to live a day at a time. Even a moment at a time. I try to appreciate each moment. Because I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. If tomorrow will be the day when all these worrisome trends ignite and explode.

This and That

• You know, we've known each other for most of our years and are at the age where it can no longer be laughed off or disregarded. Someday, one of us will pass away, leaving the other to receive the news. That frightens me.
• One of my favorite things these days and admittedly I'm pretty damn boring, but I absolutely love walking in the door and taking my shoes and socks off. I used to be a 'round-the-clock' person with wearing socks but not any longer. They are too binding, and my toes require freedom.
• I'm never really sure of anything. I can never just walk away satisfied. I always have to turn around and recheck.
• I fear sometimes that I've forgotten how to form a new connection with another.

The Storyteller

A guy I work with likes to tell stories. He likes to tell me about his son. But he always starts in the middle of the tale. Like I know what came before and other useful information that assists with understanding, and I'm always like: "What are you talking about?!!"

It's like starting a new book on page 147.

Perhaps he's rebelling against clarity? Maybe he just enjoys seeing all the puzzled and confused expressions on my face?

Friday Notes

It may take quite a few years, but one day you wake up and realize that all the little disputes, rivalries and games that people take part in with others, that it's all just a waste of valuable time and effort. 

I was driving to work this morning and witnessed a sunrise so spectacular, that I just had to pull off the road and take a few photos. 

One of the longest eight hours of my life was endured as I badly wanted to get home and see what images I captured. I spotted the approaching birds and prayed that they wouldn't change course. Pure blind luck and timing .... not mine but the timing of the universe. Fifteen seconds earlier or later would have made a huge difference. 

That's true of so many things in this life.

And tomorrow, nothing will be the same. Tomorrow, it may be more amazing and beautiful. Or it may not be, but whatever is there, it will be unique and never seen before. The only given is that I will be alert and watching.

That's if I survive tonight.

I was thinking about that this morning. How I fell asleep last night just assuming that I'd still be alive in the morning. I try not to take anything for granted anymore. I realize and acknowledge that the odds increase with every new day, that it just might be my last day.

I certainly don't have a death wish or anything but feel the need to recognize and give a nod to reality and slightly increasing fragility.

As many have commented about many things, "It is what it is."

Weird Dream Number 5839

Just another bizarre, wild and wacky dream in my world produced by, who-knows-where ....

I don't know if this was the beginning or if what stayed in mind from the dream just picked up at a random spot in the timeline.

I dreamed that I had made the South Salem High School baseball team. That uniforms were handed out just moments before the first pitch of the first game and for whatever reason, I was a few minutes behind the rest of the team, making it out to the field. I sat down on the bench next to some guy who immediately attempted to bully with a physical shove followed with spoken mind games. Refusing to move, I countered with responses that just led to a continuation and ramping up of his efforts. 

This went on for a minute or two before I awoke. 

This is at least the second that time this guy has appeared in my dreams. I've no idea where he comes from or why he's out to intimidate me. 

The only bullying in my life was when I was six or seven years old, by a neighborhood kid that was three years older. My teacher noticed something in my behavior, asked my mom about it and discovered the root of the problem. It turned out that the kid had also been a student of hers. She had a talk with him, (or his parents), and the issue was quickly resolved.

The SSHS angle? Who knows? I never attended school there. It was across town, and I rarely thought of or think about the place unless I happen to be driving by. As a twenty-something, I once attended three or four sessions of a community college assertiveness class there. But other than that ...... and many games of basketball played and refereed in the gym of the physically connected middle school, I have no association with the place. Oh and add a football game watched in a late autumn downpour .... possibly the coldest I've ever been.

So where does this dream stem from? Why has this total stranger of a bully popped up at least twice?

Then, after falling back to sleep, weird dream number 5840 followed .... Driving through a parking lot and a car suddenly appears and hits mine, popping the hood of the car and causing the radiator to burst, car to stop running and the walk home to the house where I grew up. 

That's the only thing in all this that makes any sense to me .... The house I grew up in.

Why? 

Wednesday Notes From the Edge

Just a few notes from the past few days, as I recall them, likely slanted more and more in my favor as time passes and memories blur .....

• 'This morning, The Gringo' (a co-worker) told me, "Thank you" . .... "You do what you do well." It was nice to hear, but I don't think he really knows what I do. Though I'll accept any thanks I can get.
• These days it seems, the only thing that matters to me is getting home. Wherever I've been, I just want to get home. And once I've decided to head for home, stopping anywhere along the way is not a consideration.
• Why is the thousand island, always pushed to the back of the dressing choices at the grocery store salad bar? Am I the only one who tops their salad with thousand?
• It's pretty much a 100% certainty that I'm a big walking mass of confusion and contradictions but if there's one thing I know beyond a doubt it's that there is no way in hell that I'm ever going to try sushi.
• Now I'm worried that I'm going to face eternal hellfire and damnation for grabbing two extra spoons at the grocery store deli.

Grouchy Old Geezer

Perhaps an evening when I should have just stayed home.

Venturing downtown, I found irritation at damn near everything.

Red lights. Street crossing lights taking their sweet time turning to go. 7:27pm and a Saturday night, thirty-minute parking spot, the ordinance still in effect until 8:00pm. People parking next to me. People on the sidewalks walking towards me, or rounding corners, stepping into my desired, and in my eyes and estimation, my rightful path. Closed record store. Closed bookstore. My reflection in a window. One-way streets. A setting sun that was way too bright and seemingly no matter which way I turned, in my eyes. 

For tonight, I am the stereotypical, grouchy old man. I've never been an extrovert and tonight took further steps in the direction of anti-social. That said while laughing at/to myself in case someone thinks I'm too f'ing serious.

Gone

So, all those years of having your back, apparently meant nothing. All the efforts to brighten your day, forgotten.

You walked off for the final time without a word. Like it never entered your mind. Like we were total strangers. I could not have done that to you. It's funny how two different people can have totally different ideas of what friendship and a connection is. I must have imagined that I made a difference. 

I would have gone out of my way to make sure I found you and say goodbye, let's keep in touch or I'll see you later. Something. 

And this is what it got me. Easily forgotten.

CRAMP!!

 Oh what a feeling .....

There's few experiences quite as enjoyable as waking up at 3:00am, stretching your legs and ...... CRAMP!!! Instant and intense, there was no strategic pause involved as inserted in the prior sentence. I had just awoken from a dream that my boss invited me inside his front door where he had some weird flashing lighting going on. I'm not sure that if allowed to continue, the dream would have turned into a nightmare involving chainsaws and axes. 

I'll be 'walking slow' for a bit. One of my favorite songs. (Jackson Browne). When 'Late For the Sky' was released nearly fifty years ago, I thought the song was filler material. Years later, it became a desert island song choice. I have memories of walking down the sidewalk in front of my college dorm (Go Beavs) and the song blasting from the third-floor speaker in the window, of the guy who resided across the hallway from me. We had yet to meet so that was my reason to knock on his door and introduce myself. Being shy, that was a difficult few steps to take. But I felt driven.

It's funny how time and/or distance can change opinions and perceptions.

And it proves, or at least suggests, that memories are more clearly retained when associated with a song. 

"Walking slow down the avenue of my old neighborhood. Don't know why I'm happy, I've got no reason to feel this good."  

That's all it took to make a new friend. He invited me inside to check out his record collection. I invited him across the hall to check out mine. His was much cooler. 

The Storm .... Or Things to Make the Evening Interesting

That was quite the storm last night. An intense hour or so, occurring at sunset. 

Severe storm alerts suddenly scrolling across my television. I walked outside to immediately witness a large and intimidating lightning bolt flash and streak, east to west, across the sky. Almost seemed like it was only a hundred yards away. Bright sky to the west ..... dark and threatening to the east. A weird, eerie orange glow, reminding me of the new color witnessed when we had a total solar eclipse a few summers ago. Not the same hues but reminiscent in that it was a color never seen before.

(I was expecting the spell checker to pop up on 'reminiscent' ..... maybe I got it right?)

An intense thirty minutes to an hour followed with continuous thunder, lightning, wind and heavy rain. The damaging hail mentioned on the alert didn't happen here. Not sure of the length of the fury as I lost track of time. 

Then just as suddenly as it arrived, it was over. A few minutes later, it was like it never happened. there had been forecasts for 48 hours of the possibility of afternoon and evening thunderstorms but of this intensity wasn't mentioned or expected. 

I read that there were 5400 lightning to ground strikes around the NW area. I don't know, but that seems a bit extreme to me. 

Maybe some are accustomed to weather like this but it's a rarity here.

And through it all, I alternated between storm watching and a thirteen inning, 1-0 Yankee loss to the Mariners where there was no mention of a storm, a few hours away in Seattle. 

And just an hour or two before the storm blew in, I was at the new record store in town, excitedly stumbling across a 1969 Chick Corea album, (on original vinyl, I think), that I've never seen before, with no idea what was coming our way.

The Process

Just a thought about new music from old, and even not-so-old favorites. 

Upon first listen you're often unsure .... or disappointed. It's not what you were expecting. It's not what you hoped for. It's different and your soul was expecting similar.

But you promise yourself that you'll give it another chance. The musician is an old favorite after all.

Then after three or four listens, it's even been known to take three or four years, you've decided that you like a song or two. Quite a bit in fact. Then another .... and another. 

At some point, you begin including it in your mind, right there with all the older, classic albums that came before. 

And before you know it, it's time for another new record. Renewed expectations and excitement about the release date, often leading to initial letdowns only to eventually become loved treasures.

..... and further notes and thoughts:

• Should all of the above be one paragraph or is it good as is?
• New release day isn't what it used to be. Even with all the access to information now, more often than not it seems, I find out about new releases, AFTER they've been out a few months.
• Or maybe I should just accept that my favorites are just not as popular with other age groups as they are with me. They've been replaced by new names and genres a few years ..... errrr decades ago. 
• And why does my ankle feel tonight, like all my previous sprained ankles are coming back to haunt it?

Passings

Some things cause you to stop and think ...... about life and your time remaining in this place.

Bill Russell and Nichelle Nichols died today.

I was a soon-to-be teenager, watching basketball for the first time and saw Bill Russell and his Boston Celtics on television. I recall him as a goateed last outpost, standing defiant in the key, protecting the basket from anyone who dared invade his territory. Taking on all challenges, even those of bigger and stronger opponents, like Wilt Chamberlain, Willis Reed and Nate Thurmond. Running the floor and blocking shots with rare energy. After his basketball years and while all his contemporaries were passing away, it seemed as if he would live forever. I grew to love the game from those earliest years. His older teammate, Bob Cousy, who played in a time before I started watching and dreaming, is still around. I wonder what he is thinking tonight. 

And Nichelle Nichols .... the main reason I started watching Star Trek and every syndicated, repeated episode of that original series that I've stumbled across since, on whatever seemingly infinite number of cable channels showing classic programming these past two or three decades. I used to argue with my sister over watching Star Trek or The Mod Squad. (Or maybe it was, Here Come the Brides?)  There was only one television in the house and no VCRs back then. No YouTube or complete seasons on dvd, blu-ray, Amazon Prime, etc. You either saw your show on its appointed night or you waited six months for the one replay to come along. There were no visions of a time in the future when you could watch your show on demand or a whim. So, if your sister's favorite show was on at the same time, different channel, well it was a fight. Oh those must have been some tough decisions for my parents .... who to take side with? Maybe this is too much information, but I once had a secret wish that I was a tribble because of Nichelle Nichols.

So I hope it's OK and understood if I'm feeling a little sad tonight.

Vibes

A different kind of vibe in the record store today. The guy working there is usually holding court, passing out free happiness, wisdom and advice on music and life ..... even if no one appears to be listening. Today he was mostly silent.

It caused me to wonder if the world was about to end?

Bizarre Dream Number 4973

"Oh geez!!" .... Whispered with hand on forehead. 

I just awoke from a dream that I was at former Portland Trail Blazer owner, Paul Allen's (R.I.P.) house .... just a regular house and not a mansion, looking to borrow vinyl records from his collection and speaking with a caretaker who invited me to return later for breakfast, when an intense lightning storm passed overheard. I ran outside with my camera, fumbling with the settings while lightning bolts struck the ground all around, unable to get the camera to function for a single photo. Standing a few feet away was a kitten and it suddenly became paramount to get that kitten inside to shelter. Returning outside and the storm that had let up, suddenly resumed along with my awkward handing of the camera. I never did get that photo.

That's been one of my dreams (or perhaps I should say, hopes) for that past five years .... to get a photo of a lightning strike. This evening's sudden dream, perhaps not exactly qualifying as a nightmare, still became a total fiasco.

And then, I remembered .....

Earlier this afternoon, back in real life, I was the beneficiary of a random act of kindness. It was during a lunchtime breakaway from work. I reached the drive-thru window of the fast-food establishment, attempted to hand the window teller my payment and was informed that the guy in front of me had paid for my order. I looked to wave but he was long gone. Almost like he had just vanished in a poof. Now I can't help but wonder if he had a sudden feeling, that something incredibly weird and twilight zone-ish was going to happen to the person in line, behind him, and decided to brighten my day with generosity. 

And speaking of owning the Blazers ..... The owner of the company I work for is rumored to be on site one day next week. I informed my immediate boss that I'm going to approach the owner and request that he purchase the Blazers basketball team. That "surely, he can outbid Phil Knight." I also added that I'm going to ask him to finance a record store in town, let me run it and in that way, rid my current employer (him) of a renegade. 

"Oh yeah, you're a real renegade" was the response. 

A Few Random Notes Before Bed

• You spoke of being spontaneous and taking chances .... That's one thing that stuck with me. Those words are what I'm trying to follow.
• Two record stores, two blocks apart. The stuff of dreams. A road trip and a dream come true. If asked how I spent my vacation, that's what I'm saying. Enough to make me forget about the bookstore.
• The sudden feeling that you already have one of the records you just brought home. And the resulting joy when you discover that the fear was unfounded. 

New Job

Just in case you ever wonder .....

I started the new job on the same day that you stopped talking to me. You who during my decision-making process, urged so vehemently that I accept the offer.

You who was so happy when I informed you of my (possible life saving) decision.

In a matter of two or three hours, I went from being told off and torn apart to being shown my new responsibilities.

I so badly wanted to share the transition with you.

It's easily one of the best decisions I ever made. Likely one that wouldn't have been made without your your concern, care, voice and urging. Oh, I struggled with second thoughts from the moment I started. Second thoughts that lasted about a month. Second thoughts that still occasionally pop up for a brief second or two. But those mostly faded away and it's been near zero stress since. And performing my new duties on my own timeline. 

And feeling free to take a day off when desired. That as they say, is on you. 

Oh I miss certain aspects of my old job and some of the daily supervisory and personal interactions with people, but people still come to me with questions and issues because they know I will help them. That has proved to be important, even vital to me. 

People have asked me how I like the new job and I always credit the lost friend who they know nothing about.

So every now and then, I walk to a spot with unobstructed space, face your direction and say, "thank you."

One of These Days

Been working on one very personal piece .... an 'attempt' at poetry ..... I call all of my pieces, 'attempts' and of course, all are very personal to me, but this one, even more so in my thoughts. I've been working on it for months now and I don't know how I will recognize when it's finished. Hopefully, one of these days.

Every time I begin to wonder if it's near the end, an inner voice tells me that there's more to be remembered, more to be expressed.

I went three weeks and only added a single adjective. It felt like the word made a difference.

And I don't know if I can ever share it. It's that personal to me. But it feels like it has to be said. If for no other benefit other than ensuring that I don't forget. So that it doesn't lose significance in my mind, five years from now. 

New Day

I have fallen into this rut of laziness at work and home and with little else happening before and after. I can find plenty of things to blame but it's really all on me. At least I recognize it. It's resulted in my becoming uninspired with grooming and my wardrobe. 

It's like I had given up and accepted aging. I felt like I was looking lately as if I had just come down from the mountain after years of seclusion. 

So, I put the chosen attachment on the clippers and trimmed my remaining hair and thickening facial hair. 

Wow! I suddenly feel like a real live person again. And I've vowed to spend some money on clothing. 

It's a version of me that I feel much better about. 

This Father's Day

'This Father's Day,' it's a Peter Himmelman song. Give it a listen. 

A co-worker asked this morning if I had a nice Father's Day?

"Well, Yes, I suppose. Though I'm not a father."

"That doesn't matter, you still deserve the day."

What an incredibly nice thing to say at this point in my life. I smiled and thanked him and then thought about that for a bit and he's right. For all these years, I do deserve some sort of recognition. I like to think that I would have been a good father. 

Freer Than Free

This is when I feel the freest these days. The late afternoon and evening before a day off from work. No issues with the clock, staying up late, playing a few records, listening to the rain, quietly appreciating life and everything around me. Attempting to be aware of and savor every sound, each visual, every single hour.

Take A Note

 Notes and such .....

• There ought to be a law that of the first five packs of baseball cards purchased for a new season, if you get any duplicates, you should be allowed to exchange the card(s) for a card (Yankee) of your choosing. After five packs, everything is fair game but for those first five, only singles.
• I sometimes walk around in a daze, oblivious to most things around me, but I am always watching the sky. Alert for an image to be presented. That's what falling in love with photography has caused.
• If I'm ever asked for something I know to be true ...... It's that you eventually reach a point in life where the sad thing is, wishing that you could do something to slow down and even reverse time. To feel things again, as they used to be. Try not to get obsessed with it. 
• Is this considered biblical lust? Always wanting the vinyl album that someone else has? If so, than I have sinned. 

More Note Taking .... Baseball Edition

• Heard a local talking head, broadcasting the lower than Single A, Rookie league, baseball game make reference to "Bob" Longborg pitching a near no-hitter in the 1967 world series, and I badly wanted to call in and correct him. It was Jim Longborg of the Red Sox. And I don't recall a near no hitter but that's not to say it didn't happen.
• I only know one or two of the names in their lineups today, but I can still recite the lineups of the 1967 Tigers, Red Sox and Orioles. 
• Heard the same announcer talking about how his mom taught him to score a baseball game. I have that skill as well and now want to go out and buy a scorebook and fill it with: K's, 4-3's, F8's, E9Th's and 4-6-3's. 
• Each season, I purchase a few packs of baseball cards and peruse all the statistics on the back of the cards. I marvel at all the players these days who have hit 30-plus home runs in a season and who I've never heard of. I used to know all that shit and would carefully follow all the statistical categories.  
• I doubt anything has gone through more inflation than baseball cards. I recall the days where a pack of five cards would cost a shiny nickel. Tonight, I purchased a pack of seven for $3.99. AND thought that was a great price. 

Just Dreamt

Wow!! This is certainly different than my usual bizzarro, weirdo, unexplainable dreams .... 

A dream where my friend walked up, put her arms around me, kissed me on the lips (twice) and whispered: "I love you." Upon awakening, I was left feeling quite dazed. And I would pay for it to last longer and be stuck on replay. 

I am tempted to say that it was all that I ever imagined ..... but then, I've never dared imagine it.

Maybe I should fall asleep more often, on the couch, after eating fish tacos?

Places Ventured

Things heard and overheard, while strolling about the local outdoor Saturday Market and the public library used book sale ....

• "I know your face, but I don't remember your name." .... Turned out it was a guy that I used to play city league basketball with or against (I think). Old veterans of pickup games and city league games always eventually remember each other. 
• "She's friendly with people.: ..... I couldn't see who was being spoken of so favorably. I assumed it was a small puppy. I angled myself into a better viewing position and saw that it was a big assed hairy spider being handed to a lady. For a second or two, I thought about claiming: "Next!" But that questionable moment was the quickest second ever.

I guess I really didn't hear much.

The first used book sale since covid started. Like most indoor places in the last two years, I just couldn't stay more than five minutes. And judging from the attendance, either quite a few others feel the same way or the word of the event didn't get around. I just happened to be driving by when I noticed the banner or else I wouldn't have known. I told myself if there was a line to get in, like in the past, that I'd turn around and get on with whatever was next in my day.

A New Life

 I feel like the last one standing. 

A longtime co-worker retired yesterday. She walked away quietly. I wouldn't be surprised if there are a few that fail to realize that she's gone. We started about the same time and have known each other for forty-five years. Everyone from the earliest days is gone now. Except me. I hope she enjoys her new life. With all the hours and weekends, we've worked on every shift over the years, a new life is what it will feel like. 

Her final shift was swing shift. 3:00pm to 11:00pm. That doesn't feel proper to me. Maybe she wanted it that way? I happened to catch her, sitting alone in the office, as I was going home. It had been a minor mystery when her last day would be, and she had been using up her vacation time. I was surprised to see her as I thought she was on vacation. The wall calendar even said so. But there she was. I asked her when her last day was? "Today," she replied. Feeling near speechless, I attempted to utter congratulations and well wishes. I've always felt uncomfortable with final goodbyes. I've always felt strange about endings. Even if they are supposed to be happy.

Sleepy Notes

Eyes filling up with tears from yawning while celebrating an upcoming day off from work. A few random notes from 3am .... or whatever the hell time it is.

• Good to discover .... I'm not one of those guys that's going to pay $75 for a vinyl record. Even if it is an original copy. And even if it's a third of the price of one that sold on Discogs. At least so far, I'm not one of those guys.
• Suddenly remembering through the groggy, foggy haze of my yawns, a dream from last night, or the night before that, where I was in the office at work when several strangers entered and though they seemed nice enough initially, it was becoming obvious that they were not about to let me leave. Mobsters and thugs I assume.  Paying me a visit. I woke up before discovering their mission. 

Hours and hours later .....

• That $75 record? Well I'm already having second thoughts. I could charge it and justify it as a mean of keeping my credit rating in good standing. I sure do love owing nothing but I read somewhere, long ago, that it's good to make occasional charges. Someone should just show up and put me out of this misery. I mean, a original printing of an Elvin Jones record on Impulse!, has got to upgrade the coolness factor of .... well maybe not of me but surely my record collection.

The Longest Winter

What's the date? May 12th? If you had suddenly awakened today from a prolonged sleep and bravely stepped outside, you would have thought it was February 12th. Forty-five degrees, wind blowing, and pretty much a constant rain falling. It was f'...ing cold!! I should be feeling my first hints of seasonal allergies about now but not this year so I'm trying not to complain. Really, I am. There will most likely be a day in July or August where I will be pining for a day like this. 

Late Night Note Taking

A late-night note or two ....

•  I'm officially excited and filled with anticipation!! Nail clippers ordered for thick toenails. Should arrive tomorrow. If they are easy to handle and comfortable clipping, I'll be giddy and ecstatic. Opposing big toes beware. 
• Survived my doctor visit yesterday. The first with this new doctor. Noticed on the post visit, My Chart, doctor notes that I am "well developed." That certainly is good to know. There was a recommendation or two made but his parting words were: "You look good to go." 
• Hope to hear those same, good to go words about my car which is due for its own routine maintenance.
• I'm an admitted baseball statistic nerd. I used to be one of those guys that would calculate my updated batting average as I was running to first base. That said, I need to do some research as I don't understand many of these new-age statistical abbreviations and what number ranges are considered good, average, etc..

Random Notes From the Edge of the World

I've always wanted to use "edge of the world" in something. So, for tonight, I am residing on the edge ..... of the world or time.

• I seem incapable of pulling small items like socks and facemasks out of the dryer without one or the other, eventually ending up on the floor. And if it's a facemask, I always feel like I have to put it right back in the washing machine.
• You always seemed to think that I had a hidden agenda or ulterior motive in mind but I never did. The only agenda was you. 
• Over and over, I watch these episodes of the 1960's television program, Green Acres and never tire of it. The greatest sitcom of all-time. Some of the bits are comedy genius.
• I get a little paranoid when walking by my boss's office. Even though he can't see me, I worry that my sniffles and throat clearing are instantly recognizable.
• The ultimate struggle in decision making: Do I go to the record store or stay home and watch NBA playoffs live? Amazon Prime makes the decision easier. I can wait until Wednesday for the new Arcade Fire. 

Sleeper Pitch

In the world of situations conjured up in my sleep dreams, this has got to rank as one of the more normal. I had a dream where I was a baseball pitcher and that I came up with a new pitch. A pitch that initially breaks towards the batter getting said batter off balance while attempting to avoid being hit by the ball and then at the last instant, changes course and breaks sharply back over home plate for called strike three.

The Question

I can be easily amused.

My co-worker friend was telling me about the surprise waiting in her bedroom when she arrived at home yesterday. Upon discovery, she went to the living room where her daughter and their two dogs were waiting. "OK, who pooped in my bedroom?" ..... asked like she thought one of them might confess.  

This little anecdote had me visualizing the situation and smiling all afternoon.

Tuesday Night, Ready to Sleep Notes

 Notes and thoughts and ruminations and other assorted stuff that may or may not be true ....

• It doesn't matter what you think of me. I care for you and always will.
• Sometimes you just need a little peace in life. You don't need to be wired in to all the news and craziness of the world at every turn in your day.
• You didn't think I cared but I see your face in everything I do. Does that sound like indifference?
• I've always given everything I can and it's seemingly never enough.
• Generally, in life, my goal is to cause people to laugh. I don't laugh enough but I want to see others laughing.

I Still Care

Someone I care about is hurting.

Someone who is angry with me these days and wants nothing to do with me. 

And yet I still care. I wish I could be there and allowed to listen. Despite everything between us, despite being pushed away, I never stopped caring. If nothing else, believe that truth.

Chaos and Clutter

I enjoy the clutter and chaos of my vinyl record, compact disc and tape collection. It's semi organized, but not really. I certainly don't know where everything is. I occasionally struggle with finding a specific recording that I want to listen to.

To the visitor it's like it's saying: Sit down and feel free to browse. You may not initially find what you are looking for .... but keep looking. It might be behind the next record or in the closet in the other room.

There's a life ..... and a whole lotta stories behind it all. Maybe there's a book to be written? 

The covers, photos, labels and liner notes are as fascinating in my eyes as the music.

Clam Chowder

This afternoon, I stopped for a bowl of clam chowder. Decided to enjoy it a short distance away in the place where for many years, I spent Spring and Autumn mornings and afternoons working for the city's youth soccer program. As I sat in the car, overlooking the soccer fields, the memories and flashbacks came back in waves. Those days mattered. Those days were significant. Those days were my contribution to make the world better. For many years, it felt like what I was being asked to do with my life and it was very difficult to see it all end. I had struggled for a few years with the thought of walking away for a final time. So on the final day, for the only time in all those years, I gave notice ahead of time that I couldn't work that weekend. That way, I had the walk away moment already in the past. I figured I was owed that allowance ... an exit without tears.

People

I'm probably not going to word this very well .....

I wonder sometimes, if people are sent on paths into your life to provide a voice and push towards changes that are needed to be made? Someone able to gain inner access where the everyday, longtime friends and acquaintances were unable to be heard, and influence thinking and ultimate decisions? Someone who without that voice, you most likely would have remained in the same routine that was consuming you alive, from the inside out, due to fear of change, or refusal to admit to a problem, or just plain stubbornness?

Then once that is complete, the way out, even if it's confusing and painful, is provided.

Dream A Little Dream ....

Last night was not a good one. I drifted in and out and back into, some stage or sequel of the same unpleasant dream something like four or five times. I finally gave up on getting any further sleep and got up a half hour earlier than usual. I seem to recall growling at Alexa device when she attempted to wake me up at the pre-set time. I hope her memory is short.

It's not the first time I've had this experience, but it's usually reserved for times when I'm feeling ill. 

Why can't the good dreams play out in that manner? I wouldn't mind being unable to escape the presence of my dream girl.

Edit on 4/8/22 to add: This was followed the next day by my most favorite of dreams. The ones where I wake up and don't have a clue what time it is and go into a panic thinking that I'm late for work, only to have it slowly dawn on me that I just arrived home from work, a few hours earlier.

Tuesdays Random Notes

• It may appear to an onlooker on rainy days, as I make my way from my car to the front door at work, that I've had a few too many drinks when actually I'm just trying to find my way around the deeper puddles of water.
• A few people have provided me with some really beautiful words lately. Hopefully I'm not the low life, uncaring, unfeeling fool that I was led to believe recently.
• My number one pet peeve about searching for used vinyl records is that so often the spine on the album cover is tattered making it difficult to read. I've decided against purchase on more than one interesting or desired title over the years because of this. Reading the spines on a stack of records is just as enjoyable as listening to an actual record. Why are they not given proper care?
• I struggle sometimes on social media (and real-world life) with wanting to reveal certain lessons in aging in a hopefully humorous way versus the desire to maintain a respectable degree of personal dignity. Read into that what you want. 

Hoop Paradise

It doesn't matter if it's the regular season or the final four matchup that took place over the weekend .... Even though I live nearly 3000 miles away, I have loved watching Duke and North Carolina play basketball over the past couple decades. The games are consistently wildly entertaining. This past Saturday night's game may have been the best. Big shots being made, rebounds being frantically fought for, the roars from each teams' supporters, alternating with each possession. Heaven for a basketball junkie.

There used to be a phrase that was often used in professional basketball promotional videos: "NBA action, it's fantastic!"  Well occasionally college basketball is equally fantastic. 

Not So Great Dream #3478

Had a weird-ass dream about driving a long distance in a short amount of time to help out a friend. When I arrived, my attention was diverted for a few minutes and when I turned back, my car was gone. And unlike real life, I didn't just forget where I had parked. After several anxious moments of searching but not finding, I awoke to the safety of my couch.

It all seemed so real while it was happening .... especially as the futile search dragged on and on.

Drawers and Boxes

I like drawers and boxes. Desk drawers, dresser drawers, drawers on nightstands., etc. And I enjoy filling drawers with random items ....  scissors, a deck of playing cards, a ruler, various pens, a flash drive filled with music sent to me of an Australian radio program, a few favorite baseball cards in plastic holders, (Mickey Mantle and Bobby Murcer), a tripod for a cell phone camera, a quote cut from a magazine, a key chain, music download cards, a book of matches, a pocket thesaurus, a Far Side comic .... maybe you get the idea. 

Another drawer occupied by photographs taken from magazines and newspapers, sheets of new issue postage stamps, a few vinyl record reviews. 

A dresser drawer with petty cash, ticket stubs from concerts attended, a small box of incense cones, a bracelet, a small aluminum former sliced black olive can containing a few silver dollars, Canadian coins, a peso, an old pair of eye glasses, a second generation iPod. 

A wood box with three sections specifically designed for baseball cards .... carefully selected favorites. Another small wooden box with my wedding ring from a failed marriage and a couple chains, a St. Christopher medal and crucifix .... along with the aforementioned bracelet, my jewelry collection. 

Rummage through my drawers and boxes and you'll come away knowing a bit about me.

There's stories behind the contents of these drawers and boxes. Memories recent and memories from long ago. Tears and laughter. Joys and pain.

Randomisms

 More thoughts ..... 

• I envy those who write beautiful, thought provoking poetry and seemingly so easily. While I struggle with each word.

After fifteen minutes, apparently there's nothing else on my mind this evening. Wait!! There's also this ....

• How do people determine when it's time to retire?
• I occasionally catch myself referring to random persons as: 'That old guy'" And often that old guy is younger than I.  
• Glad to see that C.J. McCollum received the welcome back standing ovation that he so deserved, in his return to Portland last night.

Words

You have the most alluring, expressive eyes and the most tantalizing, beautiful lips that I have ever seen  ...... 

Just something I wanted to tell someone once and I was too hesitant, too shy, too frightened, too confused. So I say it here and now. And if I ever get a second chance ....

WOW!!

I'm stunned!! WOW!! 400 (and climbing) 'likes' on one of my photos on Twitter. 58 Retweets so far!! Is this a joke of some sort? Am I seeing things? I've broken the one hundred 'like' tally maybe three times in a decade. 164 was my high until now. What did I do to get such a reaction?  I'd like to replicate those efforts. 

And I didn't even think that much of the photo. It's just been sitting there in my library since November. Maybe I ought to double check and make sure it's mine? 

Edit: A day later and it's at 514 likes and 76 retweets. Quite a humbling feeling to realize that one of my photos has been seen and appreciated. Maybe even the person who detests me and has blocked me, will unblock just to give it a 'like.'

Again, I ask: What did I do right on this one?

Additional Life Notes

 Enjoying two days away from work. Notes on this and that ....

• Wow! 6:45am sure feels drastically different, (in an almost magical sense), when one is walking out the door to go for a stroll as compared to walking out the door to go to work.
• My sister messaged me about a thrift store where she saw five shopping carts full of vinyl records, five for a dollar. I said, thanks, while chuckling to myself that I'm sure there's a treasure or two there ..... But then I keep thinking: "What if there just happens to be an original 1954 rare recording in mint condition of Miles Davis in one of those carts?" That would be my kind of luck that I'd pass on the chance and then see some dudes video of his find. So anyway, guess where I'm headed today?
• Pain .... in the scariest of places.
• Kept a 60-year old tradition alive today. Every year I purchase a package or two of baseball cards for the new season. Even my vinyl record collection falls far short of that.
• Had a dude flip me off in traffic for stopping as the lights of a school bus flashed yellow. Apparently yellow means, speed up and pass before the lights turn red. And this guy held his bird for as far as I could see. Would he have felt the same if his child was on that bus?
• Seems to me that the quickest way to overcome cultural differences is to find something to laugh about together.

Library Rant!!

The local public library, which was closed for almost two years as renovations were taking place in order to get up to earthquake standards .... is now reopened and it seems that half the books have gotten lost. And it's dominated by this anti-septic looking whiter shade of white and pale color. It feels overly squeaky clean. It's certainly not cluttered up with books, information and tools of learning. 

Several years ago, I read of a new age librarian concept of doing away with many of the books in their collection. As far as I'm concerned, that's a mortal sin!!

Forgive me. I'm old. Have I ranted about this previously? Or was it just bouncing about my head? 

Anyway, it's no longer a welcoming place. 

Nor is it an interesting place. 

It's move to an alternate site clashed with the beginning of the pandemic and I don't know if that building ever actually opened for anything but curbside service. Even when everything else was reopening and dealing with the pandemic, they remained closed. Apparently the local librarians are exceedingly wmpy. And now that they've re-opened in their longtime site .... except for the half of the week when they are still closed .... well whoever came up with this concept utilizing the color white in excess, ought to receive one of their own library fines given for late books.

Notes For The (Seemingly) Upcoming Apocalypse

Notes for these scary times. Things that have been on my mind ....

• Sometimes one has to switch off the sources causing angst in ones life and spend time with what provides joy. It's not sticking your head in the sand, it's just emotional survival.
• "I guess" .... Apparently I start quite a few thoughts with those words. It's been pointed out to me twice lately. Once in anger by another. when something got lost in the translation. It's not meant as downplaying significance. It's mostly a resignation to fact in a light hearted way.
• If anyone told me that there was a thousand-plus dollars waiting for me that would require just a half hour of my time, I'd jump!! So why do I wait until the deadline each year to do my taxes?
• Who knew that all it would take is a new microwave oven to show me the difference in taste and quality between warm food and hot food. It's like discovering a previously unknown level of joy.
• Damn!! This 'golden oldies', classic rock radio station that I'm listening to .... I thought I'd be able to, "name that tune" about 95% of the time but I'm hovering, (actually sitting), at about 33%. I'm losing it!

This and That

Taking and making more notes ....

• I always wonder what might have been?
• Perhaps I should take on world issues .... Opposing sides at work come to me looking for an ear and solutions to their complaints. 
• Television on downstairs and I hear an interview with a basketball coach and it's all blah, blah, blah, until I suddenly hear: "It's really hard to learn when you're constantly winning."  .... So I guess I must be in possession of a huge volume of wisdom.
• I hate when I hear the name of a basketball player and think to myself that I saw him play three or four years ago and then find that he's been retired for twenty years. 

A Difference

It could have been great. Like never known before. The words were sincere and true. There was genuine caring. The intentions beyond noble. I would have made a difference in every day.

And you'll never know.

R.I.P. Old Friend

An old schoolmate passed away ten days ago. I knew him from age six. One of my first teammates on the basketball court. I remember how sad I felt when I heard the news that he would no longer be playing basketball with us because of a knee disease that afflicts youth in their growth spurts. I thought at the time that it was a lifetime sentence to no more hoops ..... but he was back the next season. We were altar boys and patrol boys together. After high school, we lost touch for a number of years. We crossed paths two or three times in the grocery store but there was never much more than, "Hello, how have you been?" Until that is, ten years ago, maybe less, when we re-connected through facebook. He organized a reunion for several of us old friends for a Saturday afternoon of bowling, memories and storytelling. He paid for it all and paid for the beer. A prankster growing up but never in a malicious way. He made a great number of friends in his lifetime. And now he's gone. Many people will miss him.  

I've lost way too many old schoolmates lately. I've accepted that I'm no longer immortal. Too often I wonder, who's next?

Notes and Issues

Yeah, I have issues and notes. Almost daily even. Mostly trivial. But I'm going to mention them anyway.

• Went amok in the kitchen last night, which is generally bad news but this time, with surprisingly good results. And there's leftovers!! Though I really should be supervised.
• I guess Best Buy doesn't do old school boomboxes anymore.
• It seems like for every pair of socks that I pick up and place in the laundry basket, two more pairs magically appear on the living room floor.
• Odd facts about me. I don't care for cheese or chunky peanut butter and I love old world war II movies. 
• My favorite Beatles song is: 'Martha My Dear'
• You know what I really hate? I had a note in mind for this spot on the page and then proceeded to forget it. While away from my computer, I remembered, but by the time I returned, I forgot it again. That seems to be how my world spins these days.  

Final Thought

I want my final memory to be of you.

My final thought as I take my last breath.

It's been considered that you'll likely never know.

Losing a Friend

There are times when I never know what to say. Just a few thoughts that went through my mind this evening upon hearing that an old lost friend has suffered a loss  ...... 

Eventually, the day arrives

Our oldest friends pass

And we who are left behind

Deal with what remains in the wake

The accelerated flashbacks

The enhanced memories

The absent smile you expect to see tomorrow

Savor what made them great

Don't forget the sound of their voice

Hope that they are watching

Know they are free

Crash and Burn

Wow that was strange. A new experience. I absolutely hit the proverbial wall last night. I couldn't stay awake a moment longer. It wasn't like I was on a marathon of sleep denial or anything. Whatever the reason, I just crashed. And it's only four hours later as I type this but at least I can hold my head up and form a thought. 

Though I offer no evidence, I think that a perfect concoction of 'things' catching up with me. Working when maybe I should have stayed home, the end of certain hopes, the seemingly nondescript and short days, other miscellaneous issues. 

Hoop Nightmares

Writing about my hoop dreams yesterday, has for some unknown reason, brought to mind this brutal practice drill that more than one coach subjected me to. 

It's name I can't recall, though more than likely it's one of those things where I'll wake up at 3:00am and it will come to mind.

They would assign groups of three to a basket and those groups of three, was about the final and only rule. Basically it was whoever had the ball in their hands, against the other two. There was no such thing as fouls, out of bounds lines or violations. It was one guy trying to get it in the basket while the other two tried to stop him. But there also was an element of strategy with one (or both) defender(s) occasionally sneaking away from the scrum at the last instant in order to gain a logistical advantage in the following gaining of possession. because once the ball left the shooters hands, the two defenders suddenly became rivals in a mad scramble for the basketball.

Of course, if one had bully leanings and could just out muscle everyone else ,,,, there was a huge advantage.

Scores were kept and kings of the hill were announced.

This 'drill,' used I assume to enhance toughness and brotherhood, was surely no dream. Though it could be a nightmare depending on how many errant elbows and knees one received.    

Hoop Dreams

I used to have actual sleeping dreams about playing basketball. More than once the scene was relived and played out while in this prone state of sleep. The court was always where I started out. The ancient gymnasium of the Catholic school that I attended, grades one through eight. Scoreboard in the southwest corner of the gym, not digital but with hands for the minutes and seconds, that when engaged, would move, sometimes forward, sometimes backwards, at unpredictable intervals and where it was never certain to our young minds, which was the minute and second hand and most times they didn't work at all.

In the dreams I'm moving up and down the court, seemingly without effort, with an unlimited supply of oxygen to draw from, navigating the length of the court as if I'm in the greatest form of my childhood hero, Pete Maravich, minus the floppy hair and socks. (Though there was a time when I had floppy hair.) Jump stopping, bounce passing, defending like I never have before, in the passing lanes and with energy galore.

Then comes the jump shot .... the form is textbook but I can't make a thing. Though unlike real life hoops, the misses don't result in a lack of confidence. So, I keep shooting .... and continue missing.

It's nice to visit this land where the guys from every team in the history of the sport, who are expected to take the majority of the shots for their teams .... well it's nice to visit this place where they resided. Not many have ever expected them to be generous with the ball though out of the goodness of their hearts, they just might occasionally. 

There was the one dream where I made the shots but most of the time, no!!

The C-word?

Been feeling run down with chills for the last two or three days. The feeling accompanied by sniffles and an occasional cough. Not really getting worse or better. Not 'horrible' but not bright and chipper either.  

Exertion seems to help. The tough part is working up to giving exertion. 

I don't know if this is a mild case of the c-word or just a case of the common (other) c-word. (cold). If it is the former c-word, then hopefully this is a best case scenario. I've managed to avoid the c-word for almost two years, but it's been all around me at work. 

So, I'm sipping orange juice and covering up with blankets and random sweatshirts. 

Wishing that there was a record store open at this hour. And actually wishing for some Chinese takeout. So at least I have an appetite going for me.