Another longtime co-worker retired the other day. I struggled with saying goodbye because I hate goodbyes and walking away from people. But I knew I eventually had to make the effort. We've worked together for forty years. More or less grew up in the place. When I went to say goodbye I was told that I missed her, that she went home early. I literally felt sick after hearing that.
I should be happy for those lucky ones but each of these retirements of longtime friends that I've formed connections with hurts me. I feel like I'm a little more alone in the world. A step closer to the end of days.
I have no idea how I'm going to decide when it's time for me to go and how I'm going to follow through on it. It may have to be pointed out to me. I don't want to think too much about it. Thinking about it causes the emotions inside to rage.
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