R.I.P. Frank

Frank Miles passed away last night. From what I hear, while getting ready to come to work, he just collapsed and they were unable to revive him.

It's been a strange feeling all day. I never really got along all that great with him. Never really thought of him as a friend. We disagreed and argued more than anything else and he treated a lot of people poorly but after all that, he was still a person trying to get through each day of life and someone I worked with for approximately forty years. Someone I saw most days out of the year. Especially the last ten years. Someone that I will expect to see tomorrow and for awhile into the future but he won't be there anymore. That physical fact just seems difficult to accept.

I heard a story a couple months ago about his childhood and how he was treated by classmates in school and felt badly for him. I found myself trying to understand how it affected him. (Even more so today.) Maybe that treatment had a role in how his adult world turned out. I think that people generally try to do the best they can in life with what they know and with what are equipped with to deal with situations. What you see on the surface with people often has many contributing factors and influences from years earlier. In the end, Frank was just another person trying to get by.

His life at work and away from work always seemed full of chaos, conflict and worries. I used to think that he needlessly brought so much of it on himself. Why did he have to be that way? Hopefully he can rest easily now.

I know that I'm not making this sound like much of a tribute. But I have been thinking about him all day and trying to understand.


I keep going back to a thought I somewhat struggle with. When each of us is born, we are all born with a final day assigned to us somewhere in our future. With invisible "lines" drawn to that final day. Then I visualize a "you are here" marker on each of our lines. Why are the lengths on each line so different? How are they determined? Why did a couple people I knew who passed away in the last few days ..... why did their lines end where they did while mine is extended ..... well extended for a few more seconds or another day anyway? Or maybe thirty more years? There are many varied influences that help determine the length of the "lines" but none with total accuracy and certainty for each person. Some people end up totally going against all factors and odds. These "lines" are my way of looking at and making sense of life and death.

Somewhere in all these individual lines of life, I try to work my idea of God into it and my struggle with if God exists or not. And my hopes to figure it all out someday before my line of life ends.