Finally!! It's Home!

I've been eyeing this piece for awhile now. Eyeballing it through the show case of a store that's been closed for remodeling for at least two months. I was beginning to lose hope that I'd ever see it up close. But then yesterday the store was reopened. And the price was much less than I had been expecting. It has a new home now!!

I love the colors! I love how the face is off center and is partially darkened and obscured. There's simplicity, color and mystery present. I feel intensity in the eyes also!! Maybe it's reminding me of a moment from my past?

From the first time I saw it, it became one of those pieces that called out to me for repeated viewing. I kept coming back .... at least once or twice a week. I don't know .... In the months it's been displayed in that downtown window I might be the only person that gave it a second look. And though I have no idea of its true artistic quality and value (or if it has a title) all that really matters is that it speaks with undefined emotion to someone.

The Fool I Know

And sometimes I'm such a Grade AAA fool. While in an antique shop ......

Me: "Could I see the price on an item in the case?"
The Guy: "Which one?"
Me: "This case right here .... the figurine there."
The Guy: "Oh the little guy. He's Four Ninety Five" (Interpreted in my mind as four dollars and ninety five cents.)
Me: "I'd like to get it." (Thinking what a deal and that it looked like a twenty-five dollar item as he flipped it over and I saw the tag $495.00)
Me: "Oh you meant four hundred ninety five!"
The Guy: "Yeah that sculpture's made of ivory."
Me: "Oh Ok So that's ivory.Thank you for showing it to me."

Why the hell don't they put the price tag where a person could see it, instead of hiding it and causing the borderline but inquisitive fool to appear as and sound like a full blown, just in town off the watermelon truck type of fool. Next time I'm in an antique shop I'll just wear a flashing neon sign.

I suppose one day, after the shock of spending five hundred dollars had worn off for what I initially thought was a simple but interesting human figurine, I would have been able to truly appreciate it for artsy factor and marvel at it being ivory.

Other Random Notes

• Still waiting to see a little of the snow they've been talking about all weekend. I see it as a photo op. 
• I've been gradually developing into the world's slowest driver when it comes to accelerating from a red light or stop sign. I feel no urgency to go. I also think that I'm in a major slump when it comes to parking and optimal positioning in a parking space. I don't see the parking issue as an age thing. More of a window visibility thing with my car. 
• I hate hearing the furnace at home kick in. It's like watching dollar bills fly past you and being unable to reach out and snag them out of the air.
• I'm pretty sure that I've discovered the common denominator in the occasional stomach problems I experience. That being cooking with my present low tech crock pot. I suspect it's not fully doing what's expected of it. Time to invest in a higher tech. And also a new meat thermometer.
• I know that I'm a relative newcomer to photography and in no way qualified to speak from experience (I'm doing so anyway) but sometimes you capture an image that you like so much that you can't wait to get back out and try to find another while at the same time being hesitant because you fear that you won't be able to find an image to equal or top it.

Musings at Sixty-Two

It's here! There was no stopping or delaying it. 62!! Or Sixty-Two!! We never used to think about such things when I was twenty or thirty, which really doesn't seem like all that long ago. Sometime after forty it suddenly became a consideration. At fifty, for awhile anyway, it was a fear. Now, it's not so bad. Many never make it. Many make it but not fully functional. So here I am! Bring it on!!

And don't think (if memory serves) that I'm not aware that it's the age that my father died at.

I have hopes to outlive my siblings. And I'm the oldest of the five of us. Exactly ten years older than the youngest of us. Not that I wish early passing on them. I just want to outlive them. Guess I'm competitive that way. I want to beat the odds.

For years I was reluctant to admit how old I was. I didn't want people, mostly women I was possibly interested in but a few years older than, to know. Like they wouldn't have found out eventually. But the last year or two, I don't care any longer.

I think about the story that my mom used to tell me .... How she got hit by a train at a railroad crossing, one foggy night, with a car full of groceries and while pregnant with me. How the whole car was demolished except the spot where she sat. Does that mean that I was meant to do something significant some day?

Many other images of moments in my life flash by me. Some obviously memorable. Others? .... Maybe should have been forgettable. I haven't a clue why they've stayed with me. Old classmates, lost friends, life transitions, dreams, chance encounters, a random spot of earth that I once stood on.

The Search Is Over

A four day exhausting search but I finally found my cell phone. Under the seat in my car, blending in with the surroundings, in a hard to see and reach spot. One of those things where the timing and lighting had to be perfect because I had already looked under the seat a couple times before. So the minor degree worrying is over. I'm feeling whole again ..... and less naked. I was beginning to question my sanity thinking that I may have tossed it in the garbage. I had already checked the refrigerator and freezer .... that left the trash.

A minor disagreement at work with San Juana who is convinced I'm about to turn 63. So I ended up doing the math again. Nope, 62 it is. But not quite yet. Speaking a few days early here but it's probably my first birthday since 40 where the number didn't matter any more. I'm OK with it this year. And all I want is a cake like mom used to make.

Notes

• The thing I dislike most about changing shifts at work is the moment I realize that I have to reset my alarm clock. This is the geezer in me talking but they make it so complicated these days.
• I've earned an extra week of vacation this year. That along with the week I'm carrying over from last year. If my calculations are correct, I just have to work another week or two and can then take the rest of the year off. 
• What frightens me? People driving cars, oblivious towards and apparently not caring that there are others on the road who only want to get home safely. 
• I've really been trying (with great results) to rise above the bullshit that others seem to enjoy mucking around in. It has ceased to matter to me. I refuse to acknowledge it. Now if I could only find my cell phone ..... 

Life These Days

Well here it's suddenly February again. In a couple weeks, with a little luck, I'll be 62!!! Right now I feel like I should make at least one or two more birthdays after that. I still feel relatively good. Good for another 365 days anyway (plus fourteen). I don't feel on the edge of my remaining time yet. I feel like I have another hundred (at least) album purchases in me.

I think time slowed down a little between sixty-one and sixty-two. Maybe it's because I think about it almost every day? I'm suddenly viewing each day as a valuable commodity. Letting few days pass by without recognizing their significance. When after a lifetime of denial you finally accept that you could at any moment be five minutes away from a sudden heart attack, you place more importance on every day ..... every hour. I don't feel the need to get anything specific done, just the need to be aware of time.

Us and Them

Over the past several months we've had many new faces at work ..... former employees from a couple of the company's plants that have closed down and transferred to ours. Occasionally one will mention or comment on the way we do things with words like, "We didn't do it that way." ..... And I'm always tempted to reply with, 'Well just who's plant is still operating and who's is closed?' Maybe their ways are part of the reason? Like I heard of one of these persons taking a break after lunch, farting around and preparing their lunch box and various belongings to go home. When questioned what he was doing and why he wasn't working, the person replied that they used to let them do that at his other plant. I'm thinking: What the hell! What's to prepare? Just pick up your stuff and walk out the door!

So I'm thinking that attitude was part of the reason for their failure. Did any management types or supervisors pay attention to what was going on? Why would being away from your work area for such a reason even be allowed? I'm not a big management tool and even I think that's a huge waste of time.

Others who came over, possessing much seniority and walking into lift truck driving jobs seemed genuinely surprised when asked to get off their lift truck occasionally and perform small amounts of basic manual labor. When I encountered this the first time, I was like: 'Really, you had someone do this for you over there? Why would it even be an issue? That chunk of wood on the floor that you keep running over ..... you were expecting someone else to pick it up for you?' I may be exaggerating a tiny bit but not by much. That was the type of attitude encountered.

Randomly Chance Encounter Again

I think I may have crossed paths today with that lady that I always think of as being from my dreams. And she even smiled as I approached, walked from the corner that she was standing on, to the one I was waiting on to cross the street, smiled again and spoke to me, sharing a laugh about not remembering where her car was parked. And instead of my usual freezing up, I actually thought to myself: "Say something!!" and responded to her mentioning problems with the same issue. That's progress for me! Though afterwards, thought of two or three (or a dozen) things that I should have said instead .... like "Ahhhhh I thought maybe you were going to the record store." That sounds like a good invite type of line without being too blatantly obvious.

I try to laugh about it but feel so awkward afterwards and just want to kick myself. Like I have no social skills or coolness. Coolness as in not appearing indifferent and aloof and knowing what to say when thrust into a sudden social encounter besides uttering a yes or no. Someone might be trying to make a connection and I'd never know. Maybe they should stomp on my foot or hit me with a sledgehammer!! Maybe the only thought on her mind was getting home but hey, I'll never know.

Such a fool I can be!!!