In what now seems like a past life, I was a basketball referee. A pretty good one I thought. Fair, honest and possessing knowldge of the game and its intricacies. I took the duties seriously, worked hard at it both with preperation beforehand and in actual games. and never wanted to be the cause of one team gaining an advantage. You know how everybody has one or two things they have the potential to excel at? Well I thought reffing hoops was the one thing that I was really good at.
Not everyone agreed though. That's why I walked away from it. I would let critical reviews of my efforts bother me afterwards. For hours, sometimes even days. I took it personally. I've since realized that the referees that rise to the highest levels of officiating are the ones that are fearless, overflowing with confidence and that can shake off negative reactions to their work while always striving for improvement.
I used to visualize myself in situations, see it play out clearly before me and make the call. I thought the more I "saw" a situation, the more it would help to handle it correctly when that situation actually physically appeared again. I still believe in visualization.
I doubt that many people involved for more than a season are in it just for the money. You have to truly enjoy it to stick with it. I reached a point where I didn't enjoy it. I'd get nervous before my assigned games. Not like a player gets pregame "butterflies," but nervous to the point where I just didn't want to step on the court. Some of that is still with me .... I had a dream not long ago where I intentionally skipped out on game assignments.
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