Book Haze

Upon awakening this morning, read in one sitting, thirty-plus pages of the book, "Old Records Never Die,"  ..... an amazing accomplishment of sorts considering that these days, at this advanced age of life, I usually can't read more than seven or eight paragraphs of any book without becoming exceedingly sleepy in a physical book with paper pages or Kindle edition dropping to the floor sense .... I read until my left hand became fuzzy and numb, likely from a long undiagnosed case of carpel tunnel, ..... (which also rears its ugly head when I left hand steer a lift truck at work for five minutes) .... and this because I wanted to do something constructive this weekend, like maybe finish a book. A rare feat for me because I'm always working on five or six books at a time at the rate of two or three pages a day. Not from each book but from one at that moment and place in time inspired selection, which I'll generally stay with for two or three weeks until I get the sudden feeling or urge of excitement to go back to that other book, which I haven't picked up for two or three months and which I previously put down in mid-sentence or paragraph and have mostly forgotten what I had already read and comprehended .... and like I said there's usually several books that I'm playing this rotation game with at any given moment.

I find myself wanting to write a review of this particular book, even though I still only on page 196 of 274 because for some reason I'm not forgetting what I read before and it's also causing me to feel like laughing and crying and everything in between while alternately going along on the authors journey searching for lost records from his youth and simultaneously recalling vividly my own past life and loves and not just the search for vinyl records life and loves, because he's talking about all these memories, emotions and experiences of younger days. Which is the effect that a book should have on a person and with this book it's multiplied by ten for me.

Spring Rains

A fascinating thing at times, the weather. I drove through a dark sky and torrential downpour then a hundred yards further down the road, blue sky and bright sun. I would have loved to have gotten a photo of the scene from a distance.

Another Record Store Day

Another "Record Store Day" observed this past weekend and as usual I was late to the party. I've been trending more with each year towards not being able to get out of the house before mid-afternoon. By then all the special releases have been pretty much picked through by the line that forms outside the front door of the record shop in the wee hours of the morning leaving me whatever remains.

But I did manage to find this 1961 Soho (New York) Jazz thing of mostly various unknown hipsters of the time. I haven't sat down yet and listened but it does look interesting in a historical period and place kind of way. Hope so in order to justify its price tag in my mind. That seems to be my MO during these annual events .... paying much more than I most certainly would on the other 364 days of the year. I want to do my part to keep my local record store in business.

On a side note, I've been paring down the vinyl record collection of late of some of the more uncool recordings taking up valuable space. Things I wouldn't want others to associate with my name. I can't help but wonder what was my state of mind when I made the purchases, mostly long ago in my past?  What was the attraction for me? If I had a small degree of interest then, I've certainly gone off in other directions since.

The Ex-Wife Dream

Long dream last night with a starring appearance by the ex-wife.

What's difficult about this kind of long running dream is that you wake up feeling like it was real and the person is so close and you have moments where you have this residual effect where you actually expect to see them if you walk into the other room. Then the sudden and chilling realization that it's been thirty-five years. And it's a bit of a shock ..... that transition from the carry-over expectation to reality.

And yet it's not a complete transition. Almost twenty-four hours later now and I can still feel her presence.

And now it's funny .... I want to return to that place in the dream, yet I know it's probably best that I don't.

And something else that's difficult is that I'll likely keep this whole experience to myself. Unless I have readers here that I'm unaware of. Because who's going to understand? What can anyone say besides get over it? All I'd want is someone who would listen.

And I don't know where this dream came from. I swear that I'm well beyond the days where I felt the pain of her absence. I don't think about her much anymore. I've made peace with all that. Yet there she was in my dream world, hanging around. Erasing the space between then and now.

I wasn't initially going to write about it but it's different that every other dream experienced, even other ex-wife dreams, in that it's yet to fade away in the slightest. Not even a slow dissolution, leaving me shaken.

Internet 101

Nothing I hate more than internet connectivity problems. Because I really don't know what I'm doing when searching for a solution. Just blindfolded and stumbling around in the dark.


I guess the recent raising by the state, of the deposit for glass, aluminum and plastic bottles and cans has had the desired effect. You used to be able to walk in, experience no wait and get your business done. Now you can't even get a parking space and once in the door you're facing a 15-30 minute wait. I should be singing praises for the results but I don't much relish extended waits and hassles while standing in puddles of spilled beer on the floor. Perhaps the novelty will eventually wear off for some and they'll resume donating their bottles and cans to the cub scouts and neighborhood little leaguers who likely have some sort of tabulating honor system for returns worked out with the recycler and don't have to stand there feeding the machines, while holding the rest of the population in suspended hell.

Or maybe it's more of a purgatory for those of us who are veterans of Catholic schools and upbringings?

It really wouldn't look proper to have an eight year old returning three trash bags of beer bottles, sliding one bottle at a time onto the receptacles conveyor belt. Maybe they should require upon arrival, pre-separation by type of container, and do it by gross weight .... to speed up the process. But then I suppose there would be people attempting to cheat the system by tossing the odd rock or ten in their bags.

Great Deal??

Three big boxes full of vinyl records in front of the antique shop .... for $25!! I expertly thumbed through the box on top. Difficult to pass up (well not really) but I did. It would be like buying a pack of fifty baseball cards hoping for one or two Yankees. (Done that). I mean, what am I going to do with Tom Jones and Engelbert Humperdinck on used vinyl? Despite my evolution over the years, and with no offense intended towards the artists, some things are still just not my things. No matter how intensely I attempt to visualize, I can't see myself enjoying the sounds. 

Of course it went through my mind that the other two boxes were probably filled with mint condition, rare old Jazz, Folk and Blues recordings. That would be my kind of luck.

I did find a Little Charlie and The Nightcats compact disc inside the shop for $3. That's something I can justify adding to my collection.  

So Familiar Yet .......

I hate it when this happens!! An actor in a movie from 1952. That voice ..... I know I've seen him before, but where? It's on the tip of my tongue. The names of cast members reveals nothing. But I've seen him in something. Pretty sure he was playing a lawyer. I can't let it go until I figure it out! Even if I have to stay up all night. Thirty minutes have passed. Forty-five!! There's mounting frustration at my inability to remember. Then in an instant it finally comes my way. He was a lawyer in an episode of the original Star Trek television series. Defending Captain Kirk who was on trial on charges of causing a crew members (faked) death. I still don't know his name but at least the nagging mystery is solved.

Sudden Thoughts

At age sixty-one, a person needs to have the attitude that you still have fifty years of healthy life ahead instead of worrying that maybe you have only ten years remaining. Not to be worried and consumed about the end of your days possibly nearing.

I used to resist and avoid sleep. Nowadays I mostly embrace it!! As long as the bad dreams are not too frequent.

Used Book Sale

I might just be the only person in the world who literally gets excited beforehand about a used book sale at the public library. Even taking a vacation day from work in order to get there as early as my random sleep habits will allow. This is a big EVENT in my world!!! Hoping for a few "finds" a little later today in history, poetry or art books. And I usually come away with a little music also.

I don't mention the reason for vacation to co-workers because they wouldn't understand.

Grocery Store Rage Blues

Can't say that I wasn't warned. As I neared the entrance, a departing lady warned me: "You don't want to go in there!"

"Road rage" on display in the grocery store over long, slow moving checkout lines and a sign prominently displayed for all waiting in place to see stating: "If there are more than three people in line, we'll open another register." Apparently though, it wasn't meant to be taken literally. Maybe the store manager thought that the sentiment alone was good enough for us? That we'd then happily overlook high prices and long lines. There was one guy in particular who was letting his true feelings about it all be known. As in Loudly!! And he had no intents of getting in one dig and letting the matter die. It quickly became an awkward situation. It might have helped had a perceptive store employee comprehended the gist of the guys feelings and lost that sign.

Oldest Friend

My oldest friend calls at an hour that he never calls at. I assume immediately that it's bad news. Thankfully it wasn't. Just wanting to chat was all. But for a few seconds, before I could return the call, I feared it was about his mother. We've exchanged those sort of calls before .... about the passing of a parent. And there's one more coming some day. Assuming that one of us doesn't pass first. And then eventually one of us will also pass before the other. I don't want to think about it but it is part of this life process. It's frightening to consider the time when only one of us remains. We've been close friends since we were eight years old. How do you deal with that eventually ending?

We were born a few months apart and now that we are both "seniors" in some eyes and nearing retirement consideration, you also find yourself at times pondering when it all ends. Both fascinating and frightening. You can't even imagine when you are younger but now it's there to be acknowledged and accepted.

I try to accept dying through joking about it. When I purchased my new car a few months ago, an determined attempt was made to convince me to purchase an extended warranty. After several "No thanks" on my part, the dealerships money man, claiming he was trying to understand why I would pass on such a offer, asked me why. The first thought that entered my head was that I likely won't out live the standard warranty, so why do I need an extended warranty. I didn't tell him that but it was going through my head. But that was my way of dealing with the thought of passing, with humor. Or when I tell people that hopefully I'll die before I have to purchase another car ..... or face the time when people are fighting over clean drinking water.

And Maybe I Once Said That I'd Never Use This Stuff

Survived once again, the annual first Saturday in April work audit of our frozen inventory yesterday. Though barely surviving it seemed at times. That's speaking physically. I'm handling the cold of the freezers less and less easily. I "feel" the chill deep inside hours after we've all departed to enjoy the remainder of our Saturdays. My feet feel like bones might fracture with each carefully and reluctantly taken step.

The auditors over the years have always been these fresh faced and eager twenty-somethings, just out of college it appears. New faces every year. Yesterdays was carrying around a thousand key calculator. It amazes me that someone working for a accounting firm struggles with basic math .... adding, multiplying and subtracting. I was coming up with totals faster in my head than she could punch in her numbers. I'd announce a count total of 237 totes and then have to wait 15-30 freezing seconds for her calculator to catch up agree with me.

But the thing is, she should have been able to do it all in her head.

Dealing with numbers is supposed to be their thing right?

Maybe it's just that after ten years of walking through freezers (and warehouses), shaking, quivering and shivering, counting infinite rows of toted (and canned) food products in various configurations stacked to the ceiling (and beyond) .... and in order to get back to warmer surroundings quicker, my body has memorized several post-grade school multiplication tables that most people wouldn't be bothered with.