Notes and Confessions

• I don't see myself as a prude yet I get easily disgusted by people who dress sleezily and then go out and walk around in public. I mean you don't really need to show off your rolls of fat like it's something to be proud of.
• It's probably pretty strange but I have this small number of movies that I like to fall asleep to each night. Maybe six or seven movies on the playlist. I'll play and replay a specific film five to ten consecutive evenings then move on to the next, eventually repeating the cycle of movies. Mostly just listening to the dialogue as I drift off to sleep. I enjoy other movies as well but when it's time to settle down into sleep mode, it's just this small list that I return to each evening. War movies ..... The Desert Rats with Richard Burton, Objective Burma with Errol Flynn, Back To Bataan with John Wayne, Pork Chop Hill with Gregory Peck. A few others. Just a quirk of mine. Something about these movies puts me at ease. 
• There was a period in my life where I fell asleep each night while listening to late evening talk radio. Another period where it was football or basketball games that I had recorded to tape or disc. A month or two long ago where I had to hear Art Garfunkel's, Watermark album as a sleep aide. I've never been a need total darkness and quiet in the house, type of sleeper. I prefer a little light and a little background noise to take my mind off the daily grind and worries. 
• As wierd as all that is, it's what I've felt comfortable with over the years. As a possible consequence, I've never had an issue with falling to sleep. 
• I hate that moment when driving a new car transitions from feeling like something exciting and new to just being part of the routine. I mourn as the odometer passes the hundred, then five hundred mile point, wishing that I could keep it feeling new forever. Balance that with the fact that for that first hundred miles or so, I had trouble accepting that the car was really mine. I paid for it in cash, owed nothing and yet felt a certain uneasiness. Like it was only a rental or something. Then I worried that actually driving it around town was akin to showing off. Like I was trying to draw attention to myself when in reality I was trying to keep it quiet from co-workers and anyone else that I had something shiny and new. 
• You go to work every day and try to do your best and maybe you deserve an occasional reward or feeling of recognition and accomplishment. Even if you're the one providing such (new car). So I don't know why I have to experience these accompaning moments of doubt? But that's me I guess. That's the way my mind works.