Informed at work this morning by a lady who knew her, that my ex-mother-in-law passed away a few days ago. A strange feeling. I never really knew her that well. It wasn't like we had a lot of years in each others world. I only vaguely remember what she looked like.
I recall my ex-wife once telling me that her mother was a descendent of Belle Starr.
When you get married, it's assumed that it will last forever and that you'll have the time to build relationships with all your in-laws. Things didn't work out that way for me though. And though it doesn't always feel this way, tonight it all feels like ancient history. It should have had a different story and ending .... but it didn't. It took a few years but I eventually came around to realize and acknowledge that I screwed much of that up. You always hear people claiming that they regret nothing that's taken place in their life. For myself, the way the marriage played out is a huge regret.
I don't feel any emotion about her passing worth mentioning but she has been in my thoughts for much of the day. And I can't help but wonder what Connie is feeling. When my mom passed away, I recall this cold feeling of suddenly being alone in the world wash over me. Realizing that the people who raised you before you were able to survive on your own, are both gone. I don't think it matters how independent you are, there's always that connection with parents that when ended, you can't easily move on from.
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