Drive By Nostalgia

Occasionally I get nostalgic for the silliest, most insignificant things. Like today, driving down the road and I saw something that reminded me of buying sunflower seeds at a mini-mart, near where I used to reside, over fifteen years ago. And it instantly became a nostalgic moment of time passed and gone forever.

I mean, come on now ..... a small package of sunflower seeds? A mini-mart? 

It's not exactly like last night and viewing a yearbook photo of an old friend on a site devoted to school years. 

Yet for me, both visuals are meaningful. 

Liberate Me

The thing about the pandemic and wearing a facemask that I liked .... I always felt like an equal to everyone else when masked. Like it covered up much of what aged me. It hid things I wished I could change. It became liberating. 

The Dreams, The Dreams

I awoke on the couch, in a daze, thinking it must be 3am ..... (it was actually 11pm) ...... with fading memories of a dream so bizarre that I won't waste time detailing it because I don't recall much but a few seconds of it (maybe that's all there was?), and what would that benefit anyway? 

I hope this isn't a sign that the older one gets, the weirder, and further from reality, the dreams become.

Not exactly a promising and hopeful start to the evening before a day off from work. 

And speaking of dreams, after months of delays, my rebuilt back deck has finally been completed. I'd lost hope along the way but all was restored upon walking in the front door and noticing the absence of the large sheet of plywood across the other side of the sliding glass door. I enjoyed the first real feel evening of spring out there, with my phone and Kindle, reading about the early years of one of my favorite bands, Yo La Tengo and feeling that life was good and complete,

I damn near fell asleep out there. 

And of course, the rains returned a short while later, but it was great while it lasted.

Journaling Over the Years

Flipping through a binder that I haven't looked at in years full of printed pages from an online journal I kept in 2001-2002. Some thoughts along the way ..... 

• Smiling and laughing in between moments where I feel like crying. Memories will have that effect on a person.
• How many different sites have I used over the years to keep various online journals?
• Has it really been 22 years since that moment?
• I wonder if I can turn this into an actual book? Not for sale or anything but just to have a nice hardcover version of.

Updates

The classmates site keeps sending emails informing me that people want to see a photo of me and I'm thinking, "Nahhh, they really don't." Besides there's a photo of me already there from a few years ago that is still representative enough. Other than growing a beard since and getting a little grayer .... I still look the same. .... And I still haven't recovered from that balding period of life.

First Notes of April .... and Beyond

• I am that person that abstains from making paper copies at work if I don't need to. Because I have the trees in mind. And don't want to be the reason that they cut down one more. Believe it or not but this actually goes through my head at times before selecting the 'print' button.
• After three months of worrying, some good news from my doctor. A great feeling. And yet the near constant worry that was felt, digs deep, takes hold and is difficult to shake totally.
• Day off from work and I always have these great plans for early morning of these seemingly rare days. For photo ops and such ..... and then sleeping in, almost always wins out.
• Had to laugh yesterday at work. I was in the adjacent room so I may be in error but thought I overheard: "Just reach right in there, grab that nose hair, and yank it out." A combination of words never heard before.
• Something I did overhear accurately and failed to laugh about .... the owner of the record store telling a customer inquiring about a particular band: "You're going to have to look on your own. I don't have time to help you." I hope they have an established relationship because it didn't sound to me like winning customer service.