Sleeper Pitch

In the world of situations conjured up in my sleep dreams, this has got to rank as one of the more normal. I had a dream where I was a baseball pitcher and that I came up with a new pitch. A pitch that initially breaks towards the batter getting said batter off balance while attempting to avoid being hit by the ball and then at the last instant, changes course and breaks sharply back over home plate for called strike three.

The Question

I can be easily amused.

My co-worker friend was telling me about the surprise waiting in her bedroom when she arrived at home yesterday. Upon discovery, she went to the living room where her daughter and their two dogs were waiting. "OK, who pooped in my bedroom?" ..... asked like she thought one of them might confess.  

This little anecdote had me visualizing the situation and smiling all afternoon.

Tuesday Night, Ready to Sleep Notes

 Notes and thoughts and ruminations and other assorted stuff that may or may not be true ....

• It doesn't matter what you think of me. I care for you and always will.
• Sometimes you just need a little peace in life. You don't need to be wired in to all the news and craziness of the world at every turn in your day.
• You didn't think I cared but I see your face in everything I do. Does that sound like indifference?
• I've always given everything I can and it's seemingly never enough.
• Generally, in life, my goal is to cause people to laugh. I don't laugh enough but I want to see others laughing.

I Still Care

Someone I care about is hurting.

Someone who is angry with me these days and wants nothing to do with me. 

And yet I still care. I wish I could be there and allowed to listen. Despite everything between us, despite being pushed away, I never stopped caring. If nothing else, believe that truth.

Chaos and Clutter

I enjoy the clutter and chaos of my vinyl record, compact disc and tape collection. It's semi organized, but not really. I certainly don't know where everything is. I occasionally struggle with finding a specific recording that I want to listen to.

To the visitor it's like it's saying: Sit down and feel free to browse. You may not initially find what you are looking for .... but keep looking. It might be behind the next record or in the closet in the other room.

There's a life ..... and a whole lotta stories behind it all. Maybe there's a book to be written? 

The covers, photos, labels and liner notes are as fascinating in my eyes as the music.

Clam Chowder

This afternoon, I stopped for a bowl of clam chowder. Decided to enjoy it a short distance away in the place where for many years, I spent Spring and Autumn mornings and afternoons working for the city's youth soccer program. As I sat in the car, overlooking the soccer fields, the memories and flashbacks came back in waves. Those days mattered. Those days were significant. Those days were my contribution to make the world better. For many years, it felt like what I was being asked to do with my life and it was very difficult to see it all end. I had struggled for a few years with the thought of walking away for a final time. So on the final day, for the only time in all those years, I gave notice ahead of time that I couldn't work that weekend. That way, I had the walk away moment already in the past. I figured I was owed that allowance ... an exit without tears.

People

I'm probably not going to word this very well .....

I wonder sometimes, if people are sent on paths into your life to provide a voice and push towards changes that are needed to be made? Someone able to gain inner access where the everyday, longtime friends and acquaintances were unable to be heard, and influence thinking and ultimate decisions? Someone who without that voice, you most likely would have remained in the same routine that was consuming you alive, from the inside out, due to fear of change, or refusal to admit to a problem, or just plain stubbornness?

Then once that is complete, the way out, even if it's confusing and painful, is provided.

Dream A Little Dream ....

Last night was not a good one. I drifted in and out and back into, some stage or sequel of the same unpleasant dream something like four or five times. I finally gave up on getting any further sleep and got up a half hour earlier than usual. I seem to recall growling at Alexa device when she attempted to wake me up at the pre-set time. I hope her memory is short.

It's not the first time I've had this experience, but it's usually reserved for times when I'm feeling ill. 

Why can't the good dreams play out in that manner? I wouldn't mind being unable to escape the presence of my dream girl.

Edit on 4/8/22 to add: This was followed the next day by my most favorite of dreams. The ones where I wake up and don't have a clue what time it is and go into a panic thinking that I'm late for work, only to have it slowly dawn on me that I just arrived home from work, a few hours earlier.

Tuesdays Random Notes

• It may appear to an onlooker on rainy days, as I make my way from my car to the front door at work, that I've had a few too many drinks when actually I'm just trying to find my way around the deeper puddles of water.
• A few people have provided me with some really beautiful words lately. Hopefully I'm not the low life, uncaring, unfeeling fool that I was led to believe recently.
• My number one pet peeve about searching for used vinyl records is that so often the spine on the album cover is tattered making it difficult to read. I've decided against purchase on more than one interesting or desired title over the years because of this. Reading the spines on a stack of records is just as enjoyable as listening to an actual record. Why are they not given proper care?
• I struggle sometimes on social media (and real-world life) with wanting to reveal certain lessons in aging in a hopefully humorous way versus the desire to maintain a respectable degree of personal dignity. Read into that what you want. 

Hoop Paradise

It doesn't matter if it's the regular season or the final four matchup that took place over the weekend .... Even though I live nearly 3000 miles away, I have loved watching Duke and North Carolina play basketball over the past couple decades. The games are consistently wildly entertaining. This past Saturday night's game may have been the best. Big shots being made, rebounds being frantically fought for, the roars from each teams' supporters, alternating with each possession. Heaven for a basketball junkie.

There used to be a phrase that was often used in professional basketball promotional videos: "NBA action, it's fantastic!"  Well occasionally college basketball is equally fantastic. 

Not So Great Dream #3478

Had a weird-ass dream about driving a long distance in a short amount of time to help out a friend. When I arrived, my attention was diverted for a few minutes and when I turned back, my car was gone. And unlike real life, I didn't just forget where I had parked. After several anxious moments of searching but not finding, I awoke to the safety of my couch.

It all seemed so real while it was happening .... especially as the futile search dragged on and on.

Drawers and Boxes

I like drawers and boxes. Desk drawers, dresser drawers, drawers on nightstands., etc. And I enjoy filling drawers with random items ....  scissors, a deck of playing cards, a ruler, various pens, a flash drive filled with music sent to me of an Australian radio program, a few favorite baseball cards in plastic holders, (Mickey Mantle and Bobby Murcer), a tripod for a cell phone camera, a quote cut from a magazine, a key chain, music download cards, a book of matches, a pocket thesaurus, a Far Side comic .... maybe you get the idea. 

Another drawer occupied by photographs taken from magazines and newspapers, sheets of new issue postage stamps, a few vinyl record reviews. 

A dresser drawer with petty cash, ticket stubs from concerts attended, a small box of incense cones, a bracelet, a small aluminum former sliced black olive can containing a few silver dollars, Canadian coins, a peso, an old pair of eye glasses, a second generation iPod. 

A wood box with three sections specifically designed for baseball cards .... carefully selected favorites. Another small wooden box with my wedding ring from a failed marriage and a couple chains, a St. Christopher medal and crucifix .... along with the aforementioned bracelet, my jewelry collection. 

Rummage through my drawers and boxes and you'll come away knowing a bit about me.

There's stories behind the contents of these drawers and boxes. Memories recent and memories from long ago. Tears and laughter. Joys and pain.