Had my annual, working graveyard shift for eighteen consecutive days moment today where I woke up and for an hour or two was walking around under the impression that it was Friday only to be bummed out at the eventual realization that it was in fact Thursday. Though I'm still not one hundred per cent sure of that either. Maybe it's really Sunday?
Also experienced my thrill of the month moment when I happened upon a downtown parking spot in the shade. SCORE!! I am thrilled at different things than the average human.
At one point I found myself caught in the double no where land of having three different meal items from three different venues in mind, each causing a darn near incessant drooling reflex and being in my car at a point in town, an almost perfect equal distance from each, north, south and west, needing to make a spur-of-the-moment decision and paralyzed by the inability to decide which way to go and a fear that whichever way I did go would be the one where the chef/cook would be having a mediocre day food preparation-wise. It's times like this where a wife would be extremely beneficial to provide a voice and make a decision.
And I must have been looking a little on the shaky side because wherever I went, people seemed to be holding doors open for me and motioning for me to cut in front of them in traffic and things like that.
Then made the especially horrible decision of going through the Dairy Queen drive thru window and ordering a large chocolate covered ice cream cone which in the 95 degree heat, immediately began uncontrollable melting and oozing down all sides of the cone and all over my hand and t-shirt faster than I could electronically roll up my window, lick, eat and drive to a shady spot to enjoy. It's difficult to enjoy your treat when you're engaged in hyper swallowing so you can get back to your melting cone.
Thursday, July 26, 2018
I've Got Those Ninety-Plus Eff'ing Degrees Blues
And there are actually people who obsess over and profess boundless love for this endless consecutive days of ninety-plus degrees of Fahrenheit shit? Just what sensation that comes from it is that which makes them incredibly giddy with happiness? Is it taking a shower to cool off and wash away the dried-on layers of perspiration only to instantly becoming sweatier than before just from the act of stepping out of the shower and picking up a towel? Or perhaps it's the fondling of the steering wheel of your car that's been parked directly under the rays of the sun for most of the afternoon?
And why do extreme heat waves only become longer than originally forecast and never shorter? Explain that Weather Channel!!
I mean, I used the "S" word above in a descriptive way to enhance the issue of overly warm degrees, which I sincerely attempt to avoid in places like this, but that's what the heat does to me. Extremely dulls my levels of genuine sincerity and the desire to be well behaved and humble.
It's just that I hate this eff'ing bullshit!! Ooopps there I go again.
I mean, about the only positive that I can come up with in this whole sweaty, steamy, sloppy, smelly, gritty mess is that an ice cold bottle of Pepsi tastes infinitely better than it would on a deep in the bowels of winter freezingly cold type of day. There's no comparison.
And why do extreme heat waves only become longer than originally forecast and never shorter? Explain that Weather Channel!!
I mean, I used the "S" word above in a descriptive way to enhance the issue of overly warm degrees, which I sincerely attempt to avoid in places like this, but that's what the heat does to me. Extremely dulls my levels of genuine sincerity and the desire to be well behaved and humble.
It's just that I hate this eff'ing bullshit!! Ooopps there I go again.
I mean, about the only positive that I can come up with in this whole sweaty, steamy, sloppy, smelly, gritty mess is that an ice cold bottle of Pepsi tastes infinitely better than it would on a deep in the bowels of winter freezingly cold type of day. There's no comparison.
Strange Times
Somedays lately, work feels like how the final days of the third reich must have felt. Chaotic days, though that's nothing unusual but the sudden exodus of people leaving (or fleeing?) for other jobs ….. that has a feeling of desperation of sorts. Not used to seeing it over the years, except the loss of people to retirement decisions. Over the years, people have been mostly lifers. But there's now seemingly a trend of those in "key positions" going elsewhere. Then you observe certain changes in processes and the way things are done, not getting the hoped for results and you start to wonder about the future of the company.
But you keep on trying to do your best while ignoring the long established, uninformed rumor mongers and negative voices. The people who enjoy tailgating onto any situation and spinning it with their special brands of armchair analysis, "fake news" and trouble instigating. People who you know have no access to inside knowledge except for that which was created and spins around in their tiny minds and/or discussed and relayed in top secret huddled encounters with other paranoid, small minded types in daily bonding sessions. People who after reading my last few sentences wouldn't recognize themselves in the words.
____________________________________________________
Each Summer, there's many new faces at work ….. people of various ages and backgrounds. One of them stopped me and asked if I was "kind of like 59?" ….. "I wish" I laughed, "I'm kind of like 62." He informed me that he was 59 (I would have guessed kind of like 69) and asked about retirement and social security. I felt badly that I couldn't tell him much. I mean, I've never really looked into it. In fact, it's kind of like I've been avoiding it.
And why?
I heard about a lady in her late 70's or 80-something who was still working, refusing to retire because she didn't want to stay home ….. I guess she had a fall in a parking lot a few days ago resulting in multiple bruises and scrapes to her face and arms and also resulting in her son pulling her aside and saying: "That's it! It's time for you to quit!" No word on how that was received and acted upon but my thought to the person telling me the story was: Hell I would have no problem with staying away from work, it's all the phone calls, office visitations and paperwork leading up to that point that I am dreading.
I do have a bunch of vacation remaining this year that I need to use and if wanting to add on, some sick pay also that's available, though it's been at least ten years since I've used sick pay. (Damn sense of responsibility and work ethic said with tongue in cheek.) All that time off in November and December is going to feel like a preview to retirement. I'm going to feel like a new hire upon returning whenever that time off runs out. I suppose I need to get around to doing the math. But procrastination is one of my specialties.
But you keep on trying to do your best while ignoring the long established, uninformed rumor mongers and negative voices. The people who enjoy tailgating onto any situation and spinning it with their special brands of armchair analysis, "fake news" and trouble instigating. People who you know have no access to inside knowledge except for that which was created and spins around in their tiny minds and/or discussed and relayed in top secret huddled encounters with other paranoid, small minded types in daily bonding sessions. People who after reading my last few sentences wouldn't recognize themselves in the words.
____________________________________________________
Each Summer, there's many new faces at work ….. people of various ages and backgrounds. One of them stopped me and asked if I was "kind of like 59?" ….. "I wish" I laughed, "I'm kind of like 62." He informed me that he was 59 (I would have guessed kind of like 69) and asked about retirement and social security. I felt badly that I couldn't tell him much. I mean, I've never really looked into it. In fact, it's kind of like I've been avoiding it.
And why?
I heard about a lady in her late 70's or 80-something who was still working, refusing to retire because she didn't want to stay home ….. I guess she had a fall in a parking lot a few days ago resulting in multiple bruises and scrapes to her face and arms and also resulting in her son pulling her aside and saying: "That's it! It's time for you to quit!" No word on how that was received and acted upon but my thought to the person telling me the story was: Hell I would have no problem with staying away from work, it's all the phone calls, office visitations and paperwork leading up to that point that I am dreading.
I do have a bunch of vacation remaining this year that I need to use and if wanting to add on, some sick pay also that's available, though it's been at least ten years since I've used sick pay. (Damn sense of responsibility and work ethic said with tongue in cheek.) All that time off in November and December is going to feel like a preview to retirement. I'm going to feel like a new hire upon returning whenever that time off runs out. I suppose I need to get around to doing the math. But procrastination is one of my specialties.
Wednesday, July 25, 2018
New Old Sounds
I've become fascinated lately by the music given to us by Jason Molina. Either under his own name or via the groups, "Magnolia Electric Co." and "Songs: Ohia" Just recently discovered and then thrilled to find a huge catalog of recordings to seek out.
I love it when that happens!!
He passed away in 2013 but was extremely prolific in his years releasing music. How do I describe his sound? Americana? Indie Folk-Rock? Singer/Songwriter? All of the above perhaps? There's one album that has an obvious Neil Young/Crazy Horse influence!! I mean that in a good way. Doesn't seem to have ever been an issue with writer's block. I can't help but wonder what may have been created had there been another ten or twenty years?
This darkly melodic and brooding stuff is what I love!! How is it that I was never exposed to this music years ago?
I love it when that happens!!
He passed away in 2013 but was extremely prolific in his years releasing music. How do I describe his sound? Americana? Indie Folk-Rock? Singer/Songwriter? All of the above perhaps? There's one album that has an obvious Neil Young/Crazy Horse influence!! I mean that in a good way. Doesn't seem to have ever been an issue with writer's block. I can't help but wonder what may have been created had there been another ten or twenty years?
This darkly melodic and brooding stuff is what I love!! How is it that I was never exposed to this music years ago?
Sunday, July 15, 2018
These Days
What's a little scary is when I sit and think: "Will I still be around in ten years?" .... Well maybe. Develop some good habits and flip a coin. "How about twenty years?" .... Possibly but a good chance not. And then when you consider how fast the past ten or twenty years have flashed by .... Well the resulting hesitation, it causes you to shut down the thought process for a bit. To stop thinking.
Sometimes I look around at work and wonder if I'll still be doing this in five years? It used to just be a given. But nowadays? At some point, just diminishing physical abilities will demand that I be honest with myself and back away.
Sometimes I look around at work and wonder if I'll still be doing this in five years? It used to just be a given. But nowadays? At some point, just diminishing physical abilities will demand that I be honest with myself and back away.
Monday, July 9, 2018
No Side Effects Blues
Incredibly happy to report (while knocking on all available wood objects) that I've yet to experience the dreaded side effects that I was warned about and have read about that occur with some people taking iron pills to treat "severe anemia." One in particular that had me feeling more than a little hesitant .... the big C .... constipation.
The key word above being "yet."
See I don't want to get all over confident and cocky about this and then have any negative karma that's lurking around, come back at me. I mean, I'm even thinking about going back to the first paragraph and capitalizing "Constipation" just to show some proper respect. Stay humble!!
In fact the toughest part is finding the right time to take the pills. Twice a day, either an hour before eating or two hours after eating. This along with a daily Centrum that I was told to start which is supposed to be taken with food (I think). When you've had no set food consumption times or patterns for many years, this required a seemingly radical adjustment of sorts for me. But I do want to feel better both physically and in my outlook for the years ahead. So I'll try to follow instructions, no matter how much denial of any health issues that I was feeling at first. And no matter how much I would prefer not to be on any medications.
I experienced all the happiness that I deserve just the other day when I received a voice mail that my doctor appointment was cancelled and re-scheduled for early August.
In the meantime, I've been visiting the wound clinic weekly for this sore (they call it an ulcer) on my calf. Which was the reason I went to the doctor in the first place that led to blood tests, a hospital overnighter, blood transfusions, colonoscopy's, endoscopy's, scans, etc. Not to forget, scaring my niece I was told, who was waiting to drive me home after my initial scheduled procedure involving anesthesia (that ended up being delayed a day), when she saw me in a wheelchair and was informed they were keeping me there. Anyway I have a lifetime supply of gauze pads and wraps now. But lately they've been dressing it and using a compression wrap, foot to knee and feels a little like I'm in a walking cast but which means that I don't have to change the dressing each day, a process I was beginning to truly hate. The nurse told me last week that the wound looked a little smaller so that's progress I suppose. I go back tomorrow and am hoping for more visible progress.
But what's really struck me is some of the people I've seen down there while I'm sitting and waiting to be seen. People that are dealing with very serious problems. A guy that sat next to me that was out of breath .... and he was just sitting there and struggling for air. Another guy slowly shuffling past with the aide of a walker, in pajamas and looking alone and defeated. And then last week, a boy who looked to be nine or ten years old who had lost all his hair (I assume from chemo) and was being pushed around by his parents in a small hospital bed. They stopped right next to me for a few minutes before a nurse took them to a room. And he was smiling and sounding upbeat in his words!!! There's been others too. Those people and images have stayed with me. I think about those people often.
The key word above being "yet."
See I don't want to get all over confident and cocky about this and then have any negative karma that's lurking around, come back at me. I mean, I'm even thinking about going back to the first paragraph and capitalizing "Constipation" just to show some proper respect. Stay humble!!
In fact the toughest part is finding the right time to take the pills. Twice a day, either an hour before eating or two hours after eating. This along with a daily Centrum that I was told to start which is supposed to be taken with food (I think). When you've had no set food consumption times or patterns for many years, this required a seemingly radical adjustment of sorts for me. But I do want to feel better both physically and in my outlook for the years ahead. So I'll try to follow instructions, no matter how much denial of any health issues that I was feeling at first. And no matter how much I would prefer not to be on any medications.
I experienced all the happiness that I deserve just the other day when I received a voice mail that my doctor appointment was cancelled and re-scheduled for early August.
In the meantime, I've been visiting the wound clinic weekly for this sore (they call it an ulcer) on my calf. Which was the reason I went to the doctor in the first place that led to blood tests, a hospital overnighter, blood transfusions, colonoscopy's, endoscopy's, scans, etc. Not to forget, scaring my niece I was told, who was waiting to drive me home after my initial scheduled procedure involving anesthesia (that ended up being delayed a day), when she saw me in a wheelchair and was informed they were keeping me there. Anyway I have a lifetime supply of gauze pads and wraps now. But lately they've been dressing it and using a compression wrap, foot to knee and feels a little like I'm in a walking cast but which means that I don't have to change the dressing each day, a process I was beginning to truly hate. The nurse told me last week that the wound looked a little smaller so that's progress I suppose. I go back tomorrow and am hoping for more visible progress.
But what's really struck me is some of the people I've seen down there while I'm sitting and waiting to be seen. People that are dealing with very serious problems. A guy that sat next to me that was out of breath .... and he was just sitting there and struggling for air. Another guy slowly shuffling past with the aide of a walker, in pajamas and looking alone and defeated. And then last week, a boy who looked to be nine or ten years old who had lost all his hair (I assume from chemo) and was being pushed around by his parents in a small hospital bed. They stopped right next to me for a few minutes before a nurse took them to a room. And he was smiling and sounding upbeat in his words!!! There's been others too. Those people and images have stayed with me. I think about those people often.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)